4 Questions To Ask Yourself Before A Breakup Or Divorce

Tips for solving intolerable relationship problems, plus four questions to ask before you break up.

break up

In 1975, Paul Simon opined about the "50 ways to leave your lover." Simon's classic song focuses on the "how to" of breaking up ("Just drop off the key, Lee"), not on the why or the when.

But the why and the when are the hardest parts, so I want to address them here.

To begin, ending a low quality relationship can be associated with considerable improvement in our wellbeing. There is a point at which it makes good sense to get out of a bad relationship. This even holds true for children and divorce: Ending a highly conflicted marriage can be good for children in time (a good thing to remember when you're wondering if you should "stay together for the kids").


Let's take a look at what to consider before deciding if it's time to break up.

In a prior column, I introduced the idea of an intolerable problem. An intolerable problem can be about virtually anything, but the key element is that you can't stand it—your relationship problem is ruining your life. You think about it all day; it keeps you up at night, and, quite often, you fight about it with your partner.

Read the rest on YouBeauty: When & Why To End A Relationship

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Written by David Sbarra, Ph.D. for YouBeauty.