Dating Disaster: STOP Talking On Your Cell Phone!

I met Mike at the gym. Well, not the gym so much as the gym parking lot. I had seen him working out and we exchanged a nod hello in each other's direction. It might seem like I get a lot of gym action, but given the number of times I go to the gym versus the times I have met someone, statistically, the math sucks.

Mike was very attractive, so I was happy for the unexpected connection. We talked in the parking lot for a bit and exchanged phone numbers.

We talked on the phone the following day and planned to go to a movie on Saturday. Saturday arrived, his car pulled up outside my place on time. He called and I came out. Dating Disaster: Are You A "Businessman" Or A Pimp?

I hate when people are late, so he scored a few points. Then, he lost them all.

As I got into his car, I realized he was on his cell phone. He didn't end the call or say anything. He just waved "hello" to me like he was the grand marshal in a parade and I was in the bleachers. I had no idea what to do. Was I supposed to wave back or simply ask for his autograph?

As we started driving, I gathered he was talking to his friend about their plans for later that night, after our date. How rude. I would have forgiven a business phone call or an emergency, but this was ridiculous. He talked on his damn cell phone the entire way to the movie theater.

My mind was racing with anger. Am I on another planet? Is this normal first date behavior? Should I pick up my phone and make calls? Should I start texting people so I look busy too? I Went On A Date With A Guy Who Stank Like Hot Garbage

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By the time we got to the movie, I was going along with what was happening against my own best judgment because I wanted to see the movie. Also, he drove, and there would be no more walking home dates for me.

When we got to the theater I was too annoyed to even speak to him. I am sure in his mind I was silent and boring. That is okay. When the movie ended, the first thing he did was turn on his damn cell phone again to check his messages. He was really annoying the sh*t out of me.
I know, it sounds like he wasn't that into me and I should have just gotten the clue. But through the entire movie he held my hand, and at one point he had whispered into my ear, "I love how soft your skin is, and you are so cute." He clearly was trying to turn me on—like his phone.

Aside from his sweet nothings into my ear during the movie, the cell phone thing was like being on a date with a 12-year-old girl, calling all her girlfriends from her pink, bejeweled cell phone. I thought he was going to get off the phone to tell me how obsessed he was with Sailor Moon or Hello Kitty.

Eventually, though, I thought of a way to get even. I had to show him what he was like.

In the car on the way home, I got on my cell phone and called a friend, ignoring Mike the whole way. He got the point.

He dropped me off at my place, and I just got out of the car and waved bye. We never spoke again. Dating Disaster: Double-Dating My Ex

In wasn't until later that night that the perfect solution to the whole thing hit me. I guess I should have called his cell phone from my cell phone when we were in the car. No one, I repeat, no one is so damn busy they have to be on their cell phone during a date.

This story was excerpted from Eddie Campbell's 44 Horrible Dates. Check out more great books from @Sourcebooks.

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