The "Couple's Resolution" That Strengthened Our Marriage

hands holding

One writer enlists her husband to help make resolutions for the year—as a couple.

The beginning of a new year brings with it those unattainable resolutions we set for ourselves that somehow seem to fade come February. Making a resolution of any kind by yourself can be a pretty daunting task. There's just something about setting and keeping a goal for an entire year that makes our brain go nuts.    

So how do you keep your resolutions from failing the minute after the clock strikes midnight? Get your partner or spouse involved to help you keep your resolutions. Instead of a New Year's resolution, make a couple's resolution. 10 Daily Living Resolutions For The New Year!

The only way I've found to keep my resolutions in check is to have someone else hold me accountable. Having someone stand by your side can make all the difference. Sometimes we set our goals too high and, in the end, set ourselves up for failure. That's why we need someone cheering us on towards the finish line, giving us an extra boost of confidence to keep going.

Making resolutions with your partner or spouse will help you stick to your promises, and your partner can help keep you motivated. The Bible explains to us in Ecclesiastes that, "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up" (4:9-10). 12 New Year's Resolutions Couples Should Make Together

My husband and I are not the best at setting resolutions and keeping them. We've both set resolutions individually in the past, but we've found it so hard to stay motivated to stick to our plans. Signing up for a gym membership is only half the battle if your goal is to lose weight. Shocker: You actually have to go to the gym and work out in order to lose those extra pounds.

Sometime last year I was riding in the car with my husband, and I saw his gym membership card hanging from his rear-view mirror. I leaned over and asked him, "When was the last time you used that?" He shrugged his shoulders and said he couldn't remember. That question got us both talking about the upcoming year and thinking about setting a few resolutions. Breakup With Brunch! 10 Easy Ways To Lose Weight As A Couple

We talked about resolutions we had set in the past (ahem, his gym membership). We talked about why those resolutions failed and what got in the way. We both laughed at ourselves when we said the same answer, "Life got in the way."  

We both came to the same conclusion. We wanted our goals to be a part of our lives. We didn't want lives to get in the way. We wanted to set a goal that would bring a positive change to our relationship. A goal that not only would make us stronger as individuals, but would also make our marriage stronger.    

We know that with the two of us combined, our resolutions will be so much easier to handle, so we decided to take on a resolution together as a team. A couple's resolution, if you will.  10 Ways To Make Your Marriage Last 10 Years

It took some time coming up with a resolution we both agreed we needed to work on, but we thought long and hard and finally decided that our couple's resolution would be to seek God's presence, and what better way to do that than to pray more together. To pray with and for each other. To pray to God for things we desire, but also spend time praising and thanking Him, loving and adoring Him and enjoying His presence. 

We both know that there's nothing more powerful than prayer. And, in the midst of our busy lives, it's often hard to know exactly what to pray for, but God knows the desires of our hearts, and as we delight ourselves in Him, He will give them to us, just as He promised in His Word (Psalm 37:4).     

Prayer can change a negative thought into a positive thought. It can bring a couple closer together. It can make a relationship stronger, and more resilient. It can bring two into agreement. And another thing you quickly find out about prayer? There are blessings that come from God simply because you are praying. How To Add Prayer to Your Marriage Toolbox

When I married my husband I knew I would be looking to him for spiritual guidance. I knew he would be the head of our household as God commanded all husbands to be. Together my husband and I pray for our future together, our emotions and attitudes towards each other, our reputations, our parenthood ahead and so much more. Prayer was the best resolution we could have made.

Of course, we made other resolutions too, some personal and a few others we would still like to do together. We want to play more together and have more date nights, we want to make sexy time a priority, we also want to eat healthier meals together, and we want to keep better track of our finances… but we'll see how those goals pan out through the year. We're taking it one step at a time.  9 Things The Happiest Couples ALWAYS Talk About

If your plan is to make a resolution with your partner or if you already have, be sure to have periodic check-ins to see how these goals are working out for each of you. If your goals aren't taking hold, talk with your partner about why you think things aren't working then see where you can make a few changes. Or maybe, you'll decide the resolution isn't as important as you thought it'd be. Either way, you're opening even more lines of communication in your relationship. Always a good thing!

When it comes to any type of resolution, remember that it's about you and your partner and nothing else, and if neither one of you sticks to your goals know that everything will be OK. You're still you, and you're with the person you will always love. And for me, even if we aren't perfect in every one of our couple goals, that's all that matters.

Do you make resolutions with your partner? How do you plan to keep them this year?