Dos And Don'ts Of Dating After Divorce

How to painlessly reenter the dating pool.

By thirdage — Written on Jul 03, 2011

It's finally over: the first date after divorce. I'm happy to report it was painless. The best thing about it was that it wasn't really a date. We were just getting together as a follow-up to an enjoyable meeting at a party connected with a professional conference. I'm not looking for a "boyfriend." I only called it a date because it has been 40 years since I met a man late at night alone. And I wanted to get the somewhat scary idea of that first date after divorce over with.

You can get great advice from website gurus and friends, but they are so darned intense, as if each date should win an Oscar for screenplay, an Emmy for best actor and actress, and a Tony for set design and costume. Here are my observations for those who already star in their own life and don't need to "score" to have a hit. Third Age: Boomers go to Flirt School

Do:

-Make it a quickie. We met at a wine bar after he had dinner with a friend and I saw a Broadway play with my friend. It was a perfect spot to knock one back and run or to sit a while and sip.

-Make it convenient. It was only a few blocks from where I was staying in Manhattan so I could very easily have walked "home" with no escort no matter how late it was. On a Friday night you are never alone on a street with restaurants and bars.

-Let go of expectations. Just be you. There's nothing to lose here. It's not a race. You don't have to get an "A." And there are no critics in the front row. Third Age: Beware The X-Rated First Date

Don't:

-Doubt yourself. You were good enough yesterday, and you'll be good enough tomorrow--no matter how this date goes. You dressed up and showed up. That's a great start.

Read the rest on ThirdAge: My First Post-Divorce Date