The Brutal Truth About Sustaining Sexual Attraction [VIDEO]

Ever wondered what keeps you in love with someone, how to rescue a failing relationship or who's most likely to reject you based on your fashion choices? We've got great news!

MSN lifestyle website, YourTango and surveyed over 20,000 people on sexual chemistry. They then teamed up with leading biological anthropologist and relationship expert Dr. Helen Fisher to analyze the results, a few of which just might surprise you.

But how much power does attraction really hold?

A lot, it turns out. While a relationship's flame may flicker, 90 percent of men and women believe that you can rekindle dwindling attraction in a relationship.

Dr. Fisher stated that "The common belief is romantic love dies and most people in long-term relationships are unhappy—but our melancholy myth is simply not true."

Say what?!

Anne Weintraub, Glo editor-in-chief adds that "The study points to the inherently resilient and hopeful human spirit—the deeply ingrained belief that true love really can endure. You just need to weather a relationship's ebbs and flows and be willing to put in the necessary work. It's romantic love grounded in reality."

The survey also debunks long-held gender stereotypes about attraction and relationships. Eighty-one percent of respondents cited "talking about the relationship" as a way to reignite attraction.

This makes it the most popular choice among both men and women—and upending the common belief that women put more emphasis on communicating than their male counterparts do.

Additionally, men and women are attracted to the same characteristics. Both genders place the most weight on kindness, sense of humor, smile and sexual chemistry when meeting someone for the first time.

Sexual chemistry ranks the highest for men (68.4%), while women value kindness (85.4%) but also believe sexual chemistry plays an important role (67.5%) in initial attraction.

Over time, both genders believe kindness is the most important trait.

"Men [are] from Mars and women from Venus, but when it comes to attraction they are on common ground," said Andrea Miller, CEO and founder of YourTango. "While 63 percent of people believe men care more about sexual attraction than women do, our survey shows that both sexes find it almost equally important, putting a common misnomer to bed."

Other key findings from the survey include:

• Sex matters: Not surprisingly, respondents said that sex is important, both in the beginning of a relationship and in the long-term. Eighty percent report that sexual attraction is necessary to fall in love; 88 percent report that it is necessary for a successful marriage.
• Cleanliness is next to attractiveness: Poor hygiene was the factor most frequently cited as reducing initial attraction (94 percent) and long-term attraction (87 percent).
• Romantic love becomes more important as you age. When asked how attraction changes over time, the greatest single turn-off cited by people over 50 was a "lack of romantic love," which shows that the desire for intimacy and sexual chemistry does not diminish with age.

FINALLY. The secret to rekindling the passion in your relationship has been revealed!

Attraction survey conducted from January 7, 2011 to March 7, 2011. Data analyzed by biological anthropologist Helen Fisher. Check out more from the Power of Attraction.


Do you think you can reignite passion? What do you immediately find attractive?

Is it possible to reignite attraction?,, surveyed more than 22,000 people and discovered the truth about the power of attraction.

Men are from...
Women are from...
The same planet.  Both think kindness, sense of humor, smile, and sexual chemistry are most important when meeting someone for the first time. 

93 percent of people think poor hygiene...
A)Means you are lazy.
B)Kill attraction.
Is OK if you’re good-looking.
(circled B)

46 percent of people say they’ve been cheated on
22 percent  say they don’t know
(perhaps 22 percent should hire a detective)

20 percent of people think sexual attraction isn’t necessary to fall in love.

Good Morning!
34 percent of people have had a one-night stand turn into
-a pumpkin at midnight
a good life lesson.
(ding) a real relationship

Set your DVR to “sexy”
37 percent of men think watching TV together is a good way to turn up the passion.
64% percent of both men and women say that as they get older, communication becomes increasingly attractive.
Grampa just poked Granny.
As they get older, women say that a lack of ambition in men becomes more of a turn-off.
“Put down the Playstation, Grampa!”
One in seven women believes sexual attraction can sustain a relationship for a lifetime. 
The other six haven’t tried Zestra.

Wealth, Desire to Have Children, Religion were consistently listed as low in important for initial attraction.
5 percent of men believe that having a baby will reignite physical attraction in a relationship.
“In no way could this backfire.”

Before you shave your listed hair and body type as important traits for initial attraction.
Women list
-sense of humor
as most important for initial attraction.
I guess washboard abs are out?

I’m not saying she’s gold digger but...
Women are twice as likely as men to say lack of money kills attraction.

People over 40 are more turned off by bad personal style than the younger set.
Looks like this lady won’t be dating anyone over 40.

44 percent of people have had...
An affair.
An erotic cake.
An office romance.
(circled C)

From the pages of That Sounds About Right! Magazine...
64 percent of people think that men care more about sexual attraction than women.
However, both men and women agree that sexual attraction is necessary to maintain a relationship.
86 percent men
88 percent women

What do people list as the most important factor for long-term attraction?
A) Sexual Competence
Communication Skills
(circle B)

Check out more surprising results at
90 percentof people believe that attraction can be rekindled.  If that doesn’t brighten your day, you need a hug.
Better Sex, Effortlessly. Zestra.