Dear Wendy, Should I Take On A Sugar Daddy?

Sugar daddy

Dear Wendy:

I met this guy who proposed that he basically become my sugar daddy in exchange for sex. I told him I was into friends with benefits sex with no strings attached for free, but he told me he likes to spoil women. I don't think there is anything wrong with this and it actually excites me. He really wants to buy me things because he wants me so bad. I would give him sexual pleasure without the gifts, but is it crazy to take his gifts too? I'm looking for a no-strings-attached sexual relationship now anyway, but this one comes with perks. He offered me $75 for a pair of my used panties one morning. Do you think anything is wrong with this? He's professional and sane, but doesn't have time for a girlfriend — according to him. Regardless, I don't want to be anyone's girlfriend right now anyway. Am I crazy for doing this or should I just be living it up? — Sugar Baby

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Dear Sugar Baby:

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I say you're both consenting adults and if you have no reason to believe he's lying to you about his availability, then your relationship wouldn't hurt anyone else (other than potentially you), and you should go for it if it's what you really want. But do keep in mind that you're fooling yourself if you think this Sugar Daddy-Sugar Baby relationship has no strings attached. Of course it has strings attached. You would basically be providing a service in exchange for goods, which is about as stringy as you can get. If you fail to provide the service — sexual pleasure — in a fashion that suits your "Daddy," he can withhold your "perks." Likewise, you may come to be so dependent on those perks, that if they fail to suit you or if your John fails to pony up, you may be tempted to withhold your service.

And if you begin to see it that way — service in exchange for goods — it may be hard not to start seeing yourself as ... well, a sex worker. I'm not saying that's what you would be, but I am saying there's definitely a gray area when it comes to sex, and your relationship would fall into it. Can you handle that? Can you deal with the strings that would be attached to your relationship? If so, go for it. But keep your wits about you, know what you're getting into, and be absolutely sure you can trust this guy and that if you say "no" at any time, he will respect your boundaries. If you're unsure about any of those points, hold off and find someone who would truly provide the NSA fun you're looking for.

Oh, and don't sell him your used panties. That's gross.