Reconciling After A Divorce? Think About The Kids

child watching parents have a discussion

Jon & Kate may be reconciling. Are you considering it, too? How to protect the kids.

Most children of divorce secretly (or not so secretly) hope their parents will get back together. And according to recent statistics, about 10 percent of all married couples have separated and reconciled. In fact, rumors have recently circulated that Jon and Kate Gosselin may be reconciling (rumors that Jon emphatically denies) But while having the family reunited as it used to be may seem like a perfect resolution to many children, reunifications can be difficult for everyone involved. How can you navigate those tricky waters?

Know It Won't Be Smooth Sailing
If you and your ex are thinking about getting back together, are seeing each other or have moved back in with each other, it may be a difficult adjustment for the children, even if this is the fulfillment of their wishes. Couples who reconcile often have a lot of issues to work out. This may mean going to counseling together, or simply spending months working through their problems.

In fact, reconciliation can sometimes involve a lot of starts and stops: you're together today but, tomorrow, you think it's a bad idea. Then, two weeks later, you spend the night together. And so on. The bumps in the road that you experience may feel like giant craters to your children because they are extremely emotionally invested in whether or not you reconcile.

Take It Slowly
The best thing you and your ex can do is take things slowly. Don't immediately move back in together. Take your time to consider whether or not this reconciliation will work, and if it's what you really want. Getting back together and then splitting again can be very painful for your children. Don't do it until you're sure.

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