The Millionaire Matchmaker dishes on unfriending your ex on Facebook and recent celeb breakups.
Third-generation matchmaker Patti Stanger does not pull punches. Any fan of her Bravo show Millionaire Matchmaker knows Patti's not keen on redheads, and she'll kick a guy's butt for prioritizing his "bros" above all. But there's a method to her caustic madness.
In her new DVD, Married In a Year: Your 12-Month Action Plan for Finding Love, the love pro explains her rules of the relationship-finding road so you can serve as your own successful cupid. She recently shared her thoughts on what you must ditch before you begin your journey to true love, how to get your guy to make like Prince William and pop the question, and which recently single stars she would sent to singles boot camp. 5 Dating Tips From The Millionaire Matchmaker
YourTango: This month, we're sponsoring a campaign called "Break Up with Your Ex." Do you think it's possible to be friends with your ex?
Patti Stanger: You can only stay friends with an ex if you're not sexually attracted to him. If you're jonesing for him, you have to wait until you're in another relationship to be friends. And if you go back to an ex, you won't have space for a new guy to arrive. If a guy feels "clutter," he's going to walk away.
What can you do to get over that ex, so you can clear the "clutter" once and for all?
Sleep with someone else you're really attracted to! The minute you like someone else, you don't remember the other guy. I'm just being honest! It doesn't have to be intercourse—you can make out. Just fantasize about the new guy, and the old guy is history. And yes, also take him out of your phone, and defriend him on Facebook. It's a cleansing process. By deleting him from your life in these ways, you're saying, "I will never speak to this person again."
What are some valuable lessons we could all learn from celebrity couples?
Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn—you don't have to be married to be in love.
Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson—both married before, but then they met, kept it real and had two kids together.
Heidi Klum and Seal—she's beautiful, and he's not. He fell in love with her while she was pregnant with another guy's baby! I think he's really a man for doing that.
Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott—soul mates can happen when you're married to someone else.
Are there any celebrities who have had a rough time in love lately that you'd enjoy taking on as a client?
Jennifer Aniston! Actually, I want to do an intervention with Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston. I feel like I understand them. We're all in our 40s, and to be cheated on is the hardest thing to get over. Jen has to see it in her face every day, and those feelings just don't go away. I love Courtney, too. We'll go into singles bootcamp together! Maybe they could teach me a thing or two.
I met them, and when I met them, I really felt there was a connection there. I hope it was a friendship, and they go slow, and it builds. I don't want them to get hurt. But they're cute. And he likes older women—before Scarlett he dated Alanis Morissette! Gotta love Ryan for that. And Sandra is a real girl. Years ago, she was my waitress in New York. I asked her what she was still doing there, why she hadn't packed up and moved to L.A. yet. She said, "Because you don't quit your day job until you have another one lined up!" 2010's Most Surprising Celeb Breakups
Do you think having a very successful career can stand in the way of finding and keeping love?
Yes, of course. If you're married to your career, your mate will feel it, and he'll leave you.
What is the #1 mistake made by women who want to get married, but are struggling to get a ring on it?
Staying too long at the party! This bullshit of staying past a year. It will cause you nothing but problems. Believe me, I've done it. It doesn't work!
How can women get their guys to finally get down on one knee?
You have to take yourself out of the equation. If you have a standard date night on Saturdays, you go out with the girls instead. You gotta mess him up. It can't be too easy for him. Then, he can read you too much. Guys like a challenge. They're like a dog; they're trying to find the bone! Why Do Men Get Married?