Must We Share EVERYTHING To Have A Good Relationship?

couple taking a bath together

Some couples share everything, including bathroom activity, but what's best for a relationship?

Being in a relationship means openly sharing a part of yourself with another person. There's a fine line between intimacy and privacy, so the question is, do you and your partner know where to draw the line? AOL Love and Sex Coaches Dr. Bethany Marshall and Elina Furman weigh in on bathroom etiquette, sorting laundry, masturbation and more.

Open-Door Policy

Problems arise in relationships when diverging open-door policies evolve into intimacy issues. Just because your partner doesn't want you watching them commune with the porcelain throne or vice-versa doesn't mean they're not committed. Especially at the beginning of a relationship, people have a tendency to "let it all hang out" in order to feel totally loved and accepted by their partners, says Marshall. But it's okay to keep some bathroom habits hidden, especially if the other person is uncomfortable. "You need to respect that boundary," says Furman. "As long as one person is not okay with it, there's never a point where it's acceptable," she says.

Dirty Laundry

In any serious relationship it's inevitable that domestic chores will come up. But if watching your partner sort dirty underwear is enough to make you gag, it doesn't mean there's a problem with your relationship. "As a couple, you don't have to do everything together," says Furman. Sometimes insecure couples will spend more time together to prove that there's nothing wrong. "The more secure you are in a relationship, the less compelled you feel to do everything together," she says.


"Some couples feel that any sexual act is something that should be shared," says Furman. Issues arise when one partner feels like the other is fulfilling an unmet need through self-pleasuring. "Masturbation shouldn't be taken as an indication that your partner isn't interested in you. It's a personal thing," says Furman.

If your partner is uncomfortable with you doing it, keep it to yourself or explain that you use masturbation for stress relief and that it doesn't impinge on your sexual drive.

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