Can An Affair Ever Become A Healthy Relationship?


AOL Health discusses the risks of turning an affair into an honest, full-fledged relationship.

Once a cheater, always a cheater. We've all heard this adage before, but is it true? When a relationship starts as an affair, one or both parties may have serious issues with fidelity and trusting them to stick with you for the long haul could prove to be a losing game. When you're caught up in the heat of an affair, you may be so excited about your new partner that you fail to see the bigger picture. If he cheated on his wife, what makes you think he won't eventually do the same thing to you? If you were the one who cheated, you may repeat the same mistakes with your new partner.

If you and your partner are trying to turn an affair into a relationship, you have a rough road ahead of you. It's crucial that you are both honest and upfront about why you cheated in the first place. Many people think that affairs are just about sex, but more often than not, there's something deeper at work. If you or your partner is a thrill seeker, then there is a greater chance that there may be another infidelity down the line when the excitement of this new relationship starts to wear off. If you have trouble communicating your needs to your partner and resort to an affair as a way to escape or self-sabotage, there is still the risk of this happening again. Only when two people are clear about what made them stray and have worked toward changing the way they behave in relation to their partner is there any hope that the new relationship will not be doomed to suffer the same fate as the last one.

If you got together with your man while he was still in his previous marriage or relationship, you have to ask yourself if you can really trust him. Is this someone who has the ability to stay committed to one woman for a long period of time? Was he going to leave his wife regardless of his new relationship with you, or is he the type that's always looking for the next hot thing?

Sometimes leaving a marriage and jumping into a new relationship signals a fear of being alone. Ask yourself if your new relationship is based on mutual understanding and trust or if was simply the catalyst for you to get out of a bad relationship. Many times relationships that began as affairs are doomed, not only because of trust issues but because the parties involved haven't done the work they need to do on themselves. At the end of the day, there may be a new face on the pillow next to you, but you are still alone with your same old issues.

Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango: