6 Sexiest World Cup Stories

Photo: Bauer-Griffin.
6 Sexiest World Cup Stories
Contributor

The World Cup comes only every four years, so its sexy storylines have to have staying power. And while this tournament has been historic for a number of reasons, we'll choose to remember it for the scandals and love matches off the field. Join us as we take a stroll down Memory Touchline.

Landon Donovan's Secret Baby

U.S. star Landon Donovan was the hero of the tournament, single-footedly willing his squad into the Round of 16 with a last-minute strike against Algeria that set a previously soccer-indifferent nation on fire with footy fever. But the consequences of Landon's loan to Premier League club Everton last year caught up with him—coincidentally, just as he was getting as famous as he'd ever be, hmm, that's curious timing—when a mystery woman in Britain claimed he'd fathered her as yet unborn child. Landon did the stand-up thing and said he'd take responsibility if the baby is his, and we look forward to how this story turns out, and how it affects Landon's possible reconciliation with his estranged wife, Bianca. Although they'll need DNA, because almost all newborns have Landon's hairline. Bald Men And Their Libidos

Cristiano Ronaldo's Secret Baby

Not to be outdone, Planet Football's hundred-million-dollar man announced July 3 that he'd become a father, and would be keeping the mama's name to himself—and there are now rumors that he used a surrogate. At present, CR Jr. is supposedly in Portugal, being cared for by the Real Madrid star's family while he parties it up in New York with Russian model girlfriend Irina Shayk. We're not saying we want the paparazzi to chase down Cristiano's mom while she's holding the baby, but six months or so down the line, would it kill him to walk around shirtless with his mini-me? Shirtless dudes holding babies can sell us anything. 7 Hottest World Cup Hotties

Iker Casillas's Distractingly Sexy Girlfriend

The Spaniards will be playing for their first championship on Sunday, but after their first game, a stunning defeat at the feet of the Swiss, this weekend's joy seemed far from assured. After the game, pundits blamed keeper Iker Casillas's girlfriend, journalist Sara Carbonero, who was reporting from behind the goal before the game, saying that Sara distracted the Real Madrid star (no, you're not imagining it; all the best players in the tournament, and therefore the world, play for either Real or Barcelona). She did engage him in one of history's most epically excruciating post-game interviews, and then, we assume, made soothing there-there noises at her delicious hunk of man until he got his mojo back. And back it is: Look for Iker to lock it down against the Dutch on Sunday.

David Beckham's Pouting

Poor Becks. Goldenballs's quest to become the first Englishman to play in four World Cups ended sadly in February when he ruptured his Achilles tendon while on loan to AC Milan; ironically, David was trying to get more playing minutes to catch the eye of England skipper Fabio Capello. Sidelined and heartbroken, David still did get to go to South Africa with his mates, acting as a "player liaison," whatever that is. Maybe he picked up the brews when the fellows rebelled against Capello's no-booze edicts and had a few in their dressing room to air out their feelings after their first-round draw against Algeria. He also scouted the USA's friendly against Australia before the Cup began, and gave some superb examples of bitchface during the must-watch colony-colonizer tilt on June 12. We were super sad not to see much of Victoria or the wee Beckhams in South Africa, but hopefully they'll be in the stands when David rejoins the LA Galaxy this fall.

The Curse of Mick Jagger

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It's not strictly sexy, rather, we find it curious that the Rolling Stones frontman brings a wave of bad juju to whichever team he's supporting. The Mickster took in the USA-Ghana game with former president Bill Clinton, and the Yanks cruelly lost in extra time. Then he popped over to Bloemfontein to watch his homeland Three Lions take a beating from the Germans that sent them home in disgrace. And THEN he brought his eleven-year-old son with Brazilian model Luciana Gimenez to the Brazil-Netherlands game, only to crush the boy’s dreams when the Seleção choked. Seriously, Mick. Go back to cricket. 5 Scandalous Celebrity Affairs

Team Spain

La Furia Roja is, full stop, just the sexiest assemblage of footballers on the planet. We'll see on Sunday if their burly center backs, ironclad midfield and ninja-like strikers can overwhelm the efficient and strategic Orangemen of Holland. In the meantime, seriously, just look at them. They are superb.