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The only rock you're getting is the ball-and-chain tying you down from the future you wish you had.
By Tina Tobin — Last updated on Nov 09, 2022
Why are some men so comfortable dating a woman for years, yet they aren't comfortable marrying that same woman?
The question that women in this situation most often ask is, "Will he ever marry me?"
Since women usually mention marriage more quickly than men, it isn't surprising that women find it hard to distinguish between a man who has cold feet and the signs he will never marry you, no matter how much time he's given.
Based on hundreds of stories from women who have tired of this waiting game and are left asking "why won't my boyfriend marry me?" we've put together a list of the five most common warning signs that the man you love will never marry you.
5 Signs he'll never marry you
1. He's reduced you to begging.
For a woman who's been doing some serious hinting about getting married, it can be hard to recognize that conversations about marriage have been replaced by begging and pleading.
Even smart, strong women who are used to demanding what they want in all other aspects of life somehow fall into a trap where they're begging a man to marry them.
Once you discover that you've been reduced to begging, it's time to move on. Not only does he not plan on marrying you, but the type of guy who strings a woman along like this is likely to move on to more complex stalling tactics that can drag on for years.
2. He claims he's just waiting for the right time.
It sounds so mature and responsible for your guy to say that he will ask you to marry him as soon as "the time is right," but this is just another stalling tactic. But people manage to tie the knot during less-than-perfect circumstances all the time.
Nearly every member of the clergy has a story about a bride or groom who had to hobble down the aisle after breaking a leg or having a serious injury before their wedding.
Remember these couples when you're evaluating whether his reason for waiting really has any merit.
3. He suggests a "trial period" of living together.
Men who want to get married are men who propose. They don't try to find a way to delay things by recommending that you have a trial period of living together "just to make sure we're compatible."
Women who agree to these trial periods either leave the relationship or are way too deep into that trial period.
4. He hasn't set a wedding date.
Many men find that presenting a woman with a diamond ring is the king of all stalling tactics. If the man has the financial means, he can often get several years worth of stall time with a large enough diamond.
If you've been engaged for more than a few months and you still don't have a date set, then the odds of you walking down the aisle with this man are slim at best. The same goes for wedding dates that are set two or more years into the future.
5. He keeps pushing the wedding date further into the future.
This often starts out as a wedding date that's set for years in the future. As the date gets closer (close enough to start making real plans) the date suddenly gets moved further into the future.
Let's face it: in all aspects of life we tend to reschedule things that we're not looking forward to, and we keep or move up the dates for those things that we really want to do.
If your long engagement was rescheduled as soon as it got close enough to where you needed to start putting down deposits with wedding halls, then he's sending you a message that he doesn't intend to ever go through with this wedding.
What to do if it seems as though he'll never marry you
Facing the reality that a couple or more of the above signs are all too familiar, and you have a sinking feeling that perhaps he'll never marry you is certainly not an easy one. However, you are not powerless in this situation.
Relationship Restoration Coach and the Founder of the Institute of Genetic Energetics, Larry Michel offers the following:
“If marriage and family are the foundation by which you wish to define your relationship and your partner is not 100% in agreement, then you have two choices: 1) Thank your partner for their stay of service and say goodbye, or 2) Change your definition of a successful and committed partnership.”
Truth be told, once you find yourself in any of the above scenarios, your time and energy is better spent by finding a new man who is ready to commit to you, rather than waiting around for your current man to (likely never) walk down the aisle with you.
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Tina Tobin is a relationship coach located in Livermore, California.