Moving For Love? Some Questions To Consider First

suitcase in an empty room

Before you take a leap of faith for a long-distance relationship, ask yourself these questions.

You're in a long-distance relationship and things are going well, or perhaps you're in a relationship with a partner who's about to move to another city, and you're considering a move to be with them. It's a big, tough decision and one I'm well familiar with. Not only is it the topic I probably receive the most letters about for my "Dear Wendy" column, I was also faced with the same decision myself a few years ago. I chose to follow my heart and move to New York to be with my long-distance boyfriend, and if you're a regular Frisky reader, you know by now we'll be celebrating our first wedding anniversary this summer. But just because it was the right decision for me doesn't mean it's the right choice for every long-distance couple. So how do you know whether it will work out well for you? Well, you don't ever know for sure! Even when it feels right, moving for love is a total leap of faith and it certainly was one of the scariest things I've ever done. But there are a few questions you can ask yourself to help decide if following love to another city is a good move for you. After the jump, eight questions to ask yourself right now. The Frisky: The 6 Biggest Mythconceptions About Being In Love

1. If you move and the relationship doesn't work out, are you going to resent your partner?
If the answer is "yes," that doesn't necessarily mean you shouldn't move, but you should probably spend some good time thinking about the very real possibility that things might not work out. If that risk seems too great for you—if the idea of making such a big sacrifice without experiencing the payoff you're hoping for leaves you feeling bitter and regretful—you probably aren't quite ready to make the leap yet. The Frisky: Is There A Right Age Or A Wrong Age To Get Married?

2. Have you discussed a long-term future together?
It doesn't necessarily have to involve marriage, but if you and your partner aren't discussing a long-term, serious commitment together, uprooting your life and moving to a new city is probably premature. You both need to imagine a life together at least five years in the future and not be freaked out by that idea before you start packing your bags. And if you aren't on the same page as far as your future goes, forget about it! The Frisky: 9 Things I've Learned One Year Into A Relationship

3. Is the new city one you can picture yourself being happy in?
You need to accept that love doesn't conquer all. You may love your sweetie something awful, but if you hate the town s/he lives, there's a good chance you're going to be miserable there. If you aren't sure how you feel, spend your vacation time—a week or two if you've got it—"playing house" at your significant other's place and trying to imagine how you'd feel if you never left. I visited Drew in New York for long weekends every month for a year and twice for one week at a time before I decided to make the move. Knowing I loved the city and could see myself thriving here definitely made the decision to move easier for me. The Frisky: MERRIme, A New Web Comedy About Online Dating

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