Smart Talk: Why Don't I Like Him?

Smart Talk: Why Don't I Like Him?

In response to the article "He's Perfect So Why Don't I Like Him?" everyone had a lot to say. From rules of attraction to what partner qualities we should look for in  a partner, the community talked back. Here are some of the highlights.

Well I think people make the mistake of taking a materialistic approach to things. That I will be attracted to someone if the have attribute X,Y and Z. Truth is attraction does not work based on some predetermined pattern. Mr nice guys is everything a woman wants and gives her exactly what she asks for. Compare that to this scenario. You buy a good video game and it is excellent to play. Once you complete the video game and get to the last stage. It looses all its intrigue and you probably set it down and do not play it again. Even guys will find their super nice guy friend to be a bit a of a boring drag and will often make fun of him haha,...So stop making lists of stuff your perfect guy will have and just be open to a guy that manages to move you inside and is not a total Dbag, whether he is Jewish or not (remember you have to spend the rest of your life with him not your mom).
-African Legend

...this isn't rocket surgery here. you want help, help yourself. no one else's story is going to fix you. decide what you want. do you want to be adored and sex starved? are you really a romantic under it all and want true love, marriage, fairytales and rainbows? or are you someone that actually enjoys being in a conundrum in which you are the center of flattery and envy. hey, i'm not judging. plenty of people are like that. maybe all you really want is resolution to the situation. get drunk and sleep with him and figure out how you feel the morning after. do anything other than bemoan how difficult it is for you not to want the perfect guy. that's like the supermodel bitching about how hard it is to get a date. no one wants to hear it.

You described the man as "perfect" and your friends and family both like him. He's has a good background, education, health, and he's a gentleman. Perhaps you should take a moment to really think about why you don't want him.In the meantime, get to know him more and please, don't give him up without an incredible reason. Men like him are few and far between, and most women would be grateful to have one of his type. Not all men have the ability to just send electric sexual shock waves in women. Then again in the big picture of relationships, everything can't be perfect. If you can find a partner that can provide you with a healthy relationship, then don't let him go.

My educated guess is that despite seeming perfect in every logical way, he isn't doing his part to create masculine/feminine polarity. In other words, he's coming off as neuter rather than demonstrating those powerful traits of true masculinity that ignite femininity. Make no mistake. Two neuter creatures cannot "attract" each other. Rest assured you haven't done anything wrong, and there is by no means anything to feel guilty about. What's going on is very real. BTW, "masculine" is not to be confused with "macho"
-Scott McKay

How in the world are you going to stay faithful to someone for 20 years if you're not attracted to them?
What about him? How is he going to feel in a few years if you don't really want to have sex with him?
What if you have kids? Do you want to teach your daughter that she should expect to marry a guy she doesn't want to have sex with? Do you want to teach your son that wives don't like sex? Do you want to stay married for your kids' sake if your marriage is sexless? if you find someone else who you love and want to sleep with? Unless you suddenly find attraction growing between you two, don't do this to yourself or him.

But MY ADVICE is : Pick out those things that you dont really like about him, as these might be the reason why you find it difficult to love him, If you can live with those things, then you can go ahead, do little work on him, you can still love him with time. But if you cannot live with those things, then, you have to get out of the relationship before it is too late for the two of you. In my own case, i decided to walk on those thing that does not make me to love him the way i supposed, and now, I love him and our relationship holds a bright future.