Why Is It Suddenly So Cool To Be A Lesbian?

And could I be one myself...?

lesbian LGBT dating Unsplash

Oh, it was just another Friday night in San Francisco… wearing the cashmere “it” scarf at the start of summer, pairing wine with sopressata sausage, and debating being set up with one of the city’s new power lesbians.

Yes, you heard that right. I ate pork and debated dating women on the same night.



My friend Mazz and I went to a fabulous new wine, cheese and salumi paradise. While waiting to be seated, we met two amazing women — Bonique and Lisa. The two well-dressed ladies knew their wine better than the sommelier at Gary Danko. Mazz swooned as Lisa handpicked the perfect matches to our upcoming plate of aged chevre and fenneled fancy pork bits.

We assumed Bonique and Lisa were like us, fashionable females taking a break from men to have a friendly girl dinner.

After laughing over city tales, we decided to join the ladies for dinner. Four girls is always better than two, right? During the first course we chatted about B&L’s shared hobbies, shared art collections and shared Sonoma real estate. Shared? It finally dawned on us that Bonique and Lisa were much more friendly than friends…


The two were the dynamic duo of the 2000’s. Sexy, wine-savvy, and well-invested even in the worst of financial crises. And they were gay.

Gay, however, seems to evoke more clout these days than stigma.

Today the word “lesbian” does not mean butch or jock or drab. Rather it means power, sophistication and open-mindedness.

Svelte Bonique and Lisa could somehow reference art, politics, Manolos and stinky cheese in the same sentence. While chatting to B&L, we noticed another lesbian couple across the room giving each other a dainty kiss over a $200 bottle of wine. They were also wearing Chanel boots.


Lesbian women rock.

Could I too enter the realm of the hip homosexuals?

Perhaps it was all the wine, but it appeared that this category of women had everything on my list. They could deliver where no man had been able to. Now, could I just convince myself to be okay kissing a girl’s cherry Chapstick mouth?

Bonique read my tormented mind and offered to set me up with a friend of hers — someone who was a five-star restaurant regular, owned a yacht and competed in biking. This person was also a woman; a tall blond-haired, blue-eyed, leggy woman.

My mind raced to the Sex and the City episode where Charlotte tried to get in with the city’s power lesbians.


It seemed such a beautiful world. I remember she was so ecstatic to be in a world where everyone had her same interests and dreams. The magical place where people talk Wall Street AND Vogue.

But I also remember that in order to stay in this world, she had to be okay with a little beaver. And I do not mean the woodland creature. Could I beaver it without cringing?


I pondered Bonique’s offer for a set up. Let’s face it. While a yacht ride may be nice I don’t think I can be more romantic with a woman than crying together during Love Actually.

For when it comes to a partner’s sexual equipment, I sure am biased toward the male version. Sadly, I had to give Bonique and her entourage the “Let’s just be friends” line.

But, unlike my statement deliveries to most men, I sincerely meant it. These women are too much fun to lose completely.

Written by Heidi Isern for BettyConfidential.com.