Why Men Are Sloppy Kissers


We've been exploring kissing a great deal recently. We know that locking lips causes an upswing in oxytocin and cortisol (which create feelings of bonding and relaxing, respectively) and now scientists think it's the testosterone in spit that causes us to want to rip our clothes off.

Wait? There's testosterone in spit?

Apparently, yes. In fact, the testosterone in saliva, Helen Fisher, a Rutgers University anthropologist explains, is why men inherently like sloppier kisses. They are in essence "unconsciously trying to transfer testosterone to stimulate sex drive in women."


You know, now that she mentions it—men do you have sort of a saliva-licious way of making out. Immediately we get flashbacks of the sloppy licker/kisser Charlotte York on Sex and the City had to fend off. Eventually telling the poor guy "you're a bad kisser!"

And we also remember the cascade of laughter and the wave of "we know that guy!" when we empathetically witnessed Charlotte's glistening face and disgusted grimace.

If only she had known his wet kisses were just the male way of trying to wriggle her out of that Ralph Lauren cable knit sweater and La Perla push-up bra. It was instinctive. He didn't know any better, Char.

Which, as Fisher also adds, is one of the dangers of men assessing a woman's fertility through kissing. All the slobber could backfire, completely eliminating any chance of sex or even a second date.

In one poll, she adds, nearly 60% of men and 70% women said a rotten first kiss can kill a relationship.

Fellas, take note—it's best to err on the side of polite when you slip a lady the tongue. If you get the feeling you're hungrily devouring her mouth like a plate of french fries, then it may be best to recoil just a touch. That is if you want to be invited upstairs.