Family, Heartbreak

Fight Single Blues This Holiday

Fight Single Blues This Holiday

The December holidays are a time of romance and sex, right? Whimsical jewelry commercials, love-themed Christmas songs and invitations on pretty paper to parties for "you and a guest" all add up to a magical time of year… except if you're single.

"Yes, I'm single this holiday," says Marie, a nurse living in Albany, New York. "I'm looking, but I am also just out of a relationship. I've been through a lot of hard times with my ex and the holidays tend to be when you miss that significant other." Marie has recently met a new guy, but the timing isn't right for a Christmas romance or to take him as a date to various December shindigs. "I'm anxious about holiday parties because one of my cousins just got married last year and is madly in love and another cousin just got engaged," says Marie. "They're both around my age and it's kind of depressing."

Other women echo Marie's feelings. Nikki Ashton, a New Yorker, is also alone this December. She's okay with her single status but says, "I do sometimes wish I had a guy that I could pull out from under my bed to cuddle with." Allison, an actress living in Buffalo, NY laments, "I'm going to cry and eat enough raw cookie dough to put myself in a light coma." Sure it's a joke, but this time of year can feel bewildering and lonely for women who are just out of a relationship or single-and-looking. Fortunately there are ways to tweak the holiday traditions so they're fun for single gals, too.

Jennifer Kelton, C.E.O. of the online dating site and author of the dating guide Don't Use My Sweater Like a Towel, advises singletons to be optimistic. "If you're single, don't look at that as a bad thing. Don't dwell on it.

"You can create your own fun around the holiday with the people who love and care about. Find a holiday buddy: a specific person to be your date to parties and dinners." Perfect: a best friend and a wingwoman!

Don't compare yourself to couples in lovey-dovey holiday bliss, Kelton says. "If you see a happy couple at a party and it seems like they're going home to have wild, erotic sex all night, don't assume anything. They could be exhausted and wanting out." Plus, that sick-of-each other couple probably has to wait until the holidays are over to break up, unlike single gals who can use the holidays to find more dates!

"Instead of thinking, 'Sigh, another Christmas party alone,' think, 'I'm going to put on a rockin' outfit, find the first appealing guy, drag him under the mistletoe and kiss him!'" advises Kelton. "Holiday parties can be an excellent place to meet people, too."

"Go out with your other single friends and have a good time together. Throw a holiday party at your house, but make it a singles eggnog bash, and invite all your single friends, men and women, to your house."

December can be a season of romance and love for everyone, singletons included. "I just watched the movie Love Actually and it puts me in the mood to be in love, even though I'm not right now," says Marie. "I'm excited for the holiday season to start. I am going to surround myself with family and friends that will make me smile, I'm going to try not to worry about past relationships ending. Holidays are about people you love, and romantic love isn't the only kind out there. I love my friends and my family and I think that will be good for me this year."

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