Does The "Other Woman" Owe You An Apology?

On 20/20, Gov. Spitzer's call girl apologizes to the scorned wife.

Does The "Other Woman" Owe You an Apology?

Junior year of high school, my first serious boyfriend cheated on me -- with a soccer referee who was also named "Jessica," if I remember correctly.  

I should have seen it coming -- he was a soccer playing jock, a "bad boy," and so handsome that even my father said he looked like a "Greek god. But I was in loooooooove and so I did what any other 17-year-old girl would have done in this situation:


I found out that girls's AIM screenname and confronted her over the Internets.

But things didn't exactly go as planned.

I thought she'd type "I'm sorry." I thought she'd realize I was in love with this guy, I'd lost my virginity to him, and they'd just completely crushed me.

Instead she typed, and I quote:

"I've seen a picture of you.  No wonder he cheated on you with me."


I should known better than to have be hurt by that. I know she was just being mean and cruel and bullying me. But I spent all of middle school as an Ugly Duckling -- insulting my attractiveness cut me deeply. And she didn't even apologize.


I've been in the infidelity situation from all angles: the cheated upon, the cheater, the cheatee. My experience at the tender age of 17 as the cheated upon has clearly informed my ethics in this matter: Responsiblity counts. As the cheater, I've apologized, and though as the cheatee, I haven't yet, I would in a heartbeat if I was ever confronted. 

Maybe it's naive of me to compare two horny high school students with former NY Gov. Eliot Spitzer, a married public figure and father of three children. Two different ballgames,I know. But I think what any "woman scorned" wants is remorse -- from Silda Spitzer and Jennifer Aniston on down to me. 

Does that mean all "other women," including call girls and strippers, should apologize to the wives and girlfriends of the men who see them? No, that would be impossible. But high class call girl Ashley Dupre became world famous due to Client Number Nine and surely not a day goes by where Silda Spitzer does not think about her. The ex-governor has said "I'm sorry" to his wife countless times; now Ashley Dupre really has no other choice but to take a little bit of responsibility for screwing up Silda's life, too.

So I think it's responsible, respectable -- a little bit classy, even -- for Dupre to give a remorseful shout-out to scorned wife, Silda Spitzer, on 20/20.  Yeah, it's also kinda cheesy, but if Dupre didn't apologize during her first televised interview...well, that would look even worse. Gawker reports that during her interview with Diane Sawyer, to air on Friday, Dupre offers Silda Spitzer a simple, "I'm sorry for your pain."


It's not much, but it's something.

And in a situation where there don't seem to be many clear "winners," that seems to be enough.

Do you hear that, Angelina?