Prostitution: A Recession-Free Gig?

Prostitution: A Recession-Free Gig?

The world's oldest profession may also be the world's most stable. Who woulda thunk?

This may shock you gentle reader, but in times of a bad economy men are still horny. And not just your normal garden variety horny, but the let's-shell-out-a-portion-of-our-pay-check-for-some-hooker-love horny.

According to the New York Daily News, regardless of a loosey goosey economy, a prostitution job in the red light district may, ironically, offer more security than one in the fluorescent lights.

"The market is down, business is down, but we feel it less," said Dylan, 24, a Manhattan prostitute, part of a Madame Sadie's prostitution den. "We're still busy."

Granted, Madame Sadie's girls aren't the high rolling hookers that Gov. Spitzer enjoyed.

"The $1,000 an hour girls aren't making it right now," Madame Sadie said. In contrast, she'll charge a much more reasonable $260 for an hour or $160 for a half hour. A total that costs the same as an upscale Manhattan dinner and drinks for two, which I'm sure serves as part of a rationalization.

Although work is steady, some complain their johns are cutting the fat from their hooker budget and being more stingy.

"He used to spend at least an hour or two," Sienna, a prostitute earning a graduate degree in English literature said of her banker regular. "Lately he's down to a half-hour, and he's no longer a big tipper." 

In a textbook example of trickle down economics, rest assured that every time a man has the urge to spread his seed, he inadvertently fertilizes the economy. Shauna, for example, is putting her son through college with her prostitution money. 

"He's trying to get an engineering degree," she said. "With the economy the way it is, how is my son going to get a loan? And he's going to finish college." 

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Well, geez, if you put it that way, then keep up the good work, Shauna! Here's to the prostitutes of today and the engineers of tomorrow!