How To Help A Man Get Hard (And Stay Hard) During Sex
Help him stand up proud.
Getty Most of us know that the to learning to how to have great sex is seeing it as a joyful, fun, and energetic release for men and women alike.
But for some men, especially as they age, the fun is zapped from the equation because they are worried about possible erectile dysfunction, impotence and making sure their penis can get (and stay) hard.
Don't get it twisted, a man is always thinking about his penis, whether currently erect or not.
But as he ages and erections don't come the way they used to, sex can become less about intimacy and more about proving that his penis can still get hard without any issues or problems.
When a man has erection problems, it can be awkward for both parties. The man is embarrassed and can feel emasculated, and the woman can worry that losing his erection means he doesn't find her attractive.
These aren't typically valid fears, but when you're naked, logic usually doesn't factor into your emotional reactions.
If your man is getting older and he loses his erection regularly, that doesn't mean your sex life is over — or that it has to be controlled by Viagra.
There are physiological and psychology reasons your man's penis isn't staying hard the way it used to.
Here's how to help his penis get hard (and stay hard), so you two can have great sex together (and not worry about his erection).
1. Try a new sex position
The penis is a creature that is easily bored by the rut of routine.
Let's say that you and your guy have a hot groove going on when it comes to your sex lives. You get freaky regularly, and, because you know what turns each other on, your sex sessions all look pretty identical. Hot, but identical. Even the sexiest routine can turn into a rut over time.
If he is having a hard time keeping his penis hard during sex, it could be a fix as simple as changing the sex moves the two of your are trying in bed. New sex positions can stoke the imagination and keep his penis hard, by keeping his penis more "in the action" than it has been before.
So if you usually stick to stuff like missionary, or if you always have sex in bed, why not spice things up and work in a new sex position like reverse cowgirl with you on top? Even just moving locations, say, from the bedroom to that super soft rug in the living room can be all the erotic enticement he needs to make his penis stand to attention once more!
2. Live a healthy lifestyle
In order for a penis to get erect and stay erect, blood flow and circulation need to be healthy.
Additionally, his body needs to be generation the right amount of the hormone testosterone. Taking care of his body and living a healthy lifestyle will help with both of these.
If he smokes, he should consider quitting because smoking hurts the circulation, which in turn keeps his penis from staying hard.
Increasing the amount he exercises will boost his testosterone levels, making him feel hornier, and helping him get and maintain an erection. Even if he's not a guy who believes in living a healthy lifestyle, good sex should be a nice incentive to get him to rethink his philosophy.
3. Focus on foreplay
Men are great (I mean, I love them!), but when it comes to sex, many of them are much more focused on actual penetrative sex than they are on foreplay.
This is a mistake. Not only will foreplay enhance sex for you both, but in many cases, the reasons behind a man's inability to keep his penis hard are mental. He could be focusing on the last time he lost his erection, or something else that's super stressful, putting a lot of pressure on himself which can lead to disappointment for you both.
Pressure shouldn't exist in the bedroom.
Let him know that sex is about so much more than putting a penis into a vagina. Play with each other like teenagers — nothing is off limits, except actual penetration.
Kissing, fondling, groping, mutual masturbation, and other kinds of teasing foreplay are guaranteed to get him in the mood, and let him savor the good feelings being directed towards his penis without feeling the pressure to keep his penis hard every single second. Which may, in turn, help his penis stay hard!
Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer, sex expert and editor for Newsweek living in Brooklyn, New York. For more, check out her Tumblr.