6 Behaviors That Seem Rude But Are Actually Signs Someone Takes Good Care Of Themselves
Leyla Qəhrəmanova | Pexels Sometimes people come across as rude when they are really just trying to take care of themselves. Part of self-care involves nurturing your emotional well-being, and that's definitely not disrespectful even if other people don't view it that way.
We all have different needs when it comes to taking care of ourselves. Not everyone needs a bubble bath to feel their best. Some people prefer to avoid game night. Unfortunately, if your self-care rituals don't fit the mold of what outsiders view as acceptable, they can be deemed rude even though that's far from true.
These behaviors are often mistaken as rude but are actually signs someone takes good care of themselves:
1. Skipping out on plans with friends
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Unfortunately, this is one that can be hard not to take personally. When you are excited to go out with your friend, and they cancel at the last minute, it can be very annoying and make you question your friendship. What your friend is really telling you, however, is that their social battery is tapped and they need some alone time.
Some people feel recharged after spending time with friends and family. Others can only do it in small doses. Neither is selfish or rude. We're all dealing with limited free time in our daily lives, and that means we shouldn't have to justify needing some alone time to people who purport to care.
2. Ignoring small talk
If, like me, you were raised to believe that small talk is polite, then this one may come as a shock. Being exhausted by small talk and choosing to skip it altogether is actually a sign of high emotional intelligence.
It means they would rather talk about big ideas than the weather. They skip the small talk because they believe it is fake and a waste of time. If mindless chit-chat doesn't bother you, it's easy to assume a person who checks out of talking about traffic during a networking event is simply rude, but not everyone is wired to communicate the same way, and that's absolutely okay.
3. Not replying to texts
In addition to canceling plans, when someone needs to take care of themselves with some alone time, they will probably ditch their phone for a bit.
This may lead them to unintentionally ghost some people. Although this is viewed as rude in today’s culture, sometimes people just don’t have the emotional bandwidth to respond in that moment. Learning not to take it personally when someone doesn’t respond immediately is a good skill to have. If a close friend is the one who never responds, have a conversation with them about it. You'll both get an idea of what you each need in order to nurture the relationship.
4. Texting too much
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There’s lots of phone etiquette these days, and part of it is not double-texting (at least when you’re not super close with somebody).
However, when people text repeatedly, it may be because they are anxious about something and need to confirm details. Although it may seem like they are trying to bug you, it is simply their preferred communication style. If it really bugs you that much, just tell them, but don't assume they are being rude.
5. Being direct
There are a whole lot of rules for social etiquette, and not everyone is good at adopting them. Some neurodivergent people, for example, prefer more direct, no-nonsense conversations. Unfortunately, this can be perceived as being rude.
According to a study by the Clinical Psychology Science and Practice journal, being direct is a double-edged sword for women too, especially in the workplace. When a woman is direct, it comes across as rude, but if she isn’t, then she won’t get the answers she needs. It’s exhausting.
6. Prioritizing sleep
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In a world where bragging about how little sleep you get is considered a badge of honor, prioritizing sleep can come across as rude. The National Sleep Foundation reported in 2025 that 60% of adult Americans said they don’t get enough sleep at night. That’s a huge number.
There’s an unhealthy mindset around getting enough sleep, and in a world where hard work is rewarded, it means sleep is the first thing to go. It may also lead somebody to cancel plans, which will make them seem rude (once again).
Sophie Bagheri is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and theatre who covers lifestyle topics.
