Sex

10 Hints Men Give When They're Not Happy In The Bedroom

Photo: David Garrison / Pexels 
hints men give when they're not happy in bed

There are some definite signs, some easier to miss than others, when a man is no longer sexually satisified. I asked my male friends for clues they give when they are no longer feeling it in bed to help women who may be wondering if the men they love is not happy in the bedroom. If you're even asking the question, there's a good chance your sex life can use a bit of spicing up regardless to ensure you are both trying new things and connecting physically as well as emotionally. 

10 hints a man gives when he's not sexually satisified and unhappy in the bedroom: 

1. He doesn't go to bed at the same time as you

 In the heady early days of your relationship, nothing — and I mean nothing —will keep his hands off you. So if he's more interested in re-playing the highlights of the big game that he's already watched earlier that day, take it as a hint.

He should want to get his hands on you not the remote control, and he may be using TV as an excuse to avoid doing it. One friend admitted, ‘When my boyfriend actively made sure we were never going to bed at the same time, I knew we were doomed. Two weeks later, we split."

2. Foreplay becomes a thing of the past

All my male guy friends told me how much they love going down on a girl they're really into. But they also admitted that when they start to lose interest in her, they aren't as concerned about keeping her happy when it comes to foreplay.

So if he's is neglecting foreplay all-together and only concerns himself with, well, himself, something may be wrong. 

   

   

3. He starts suggesting sexual activities you aren’t comfortable with

It's pretty simple: Men who are into you care about how you feel between the sheets. So if your guy knows you absolutely, definitely are not into certain sexual activities, but he keeps pushing you to try it, he either doesn’t care much about how you feel (in which case, ditch!) or he cares more about how he feels. (In which case, also ditch).

In a healthy relationship, it's normal to want to jazz things up every once in awhile, but not to the extent that either one of you feels uncomfortable.

4. He starts watching more adult movies alone

Contrary to popular belief, porn is not "the devil" in a healthy sexual relationship; most men watch a little bit of it and viewed together it can be a an erotic experience. But if he chooses it over you more times than not, something's amiss. 

5. He falls asleep on the job

You may laugh — who falls asleep during sex? But this has legitimately happened to several of my buddies. Admittedly, they’d had a few drinks (which might be the only exception for snoozing during sex) but if your other half is sober and fairly well-rested and they're still dozing off midway through the act, sex is no longer keeping his attention.

I once had a boyfriend stop me in the middle of sex and say he was hungry for baked beans on toast. Then he actually got up, untangled himself from my body and proceeded to make food. How much longer did that relationship last? 5 minutes.

6. Post-coitus cuddling has been replaced with sleeping

Sure, sometimes you're both so exhausted that you simply pass out after a quickie. That's normal. But if post-climax, you're game for pillow-talk and he's all about hitting the pillow, someone's needs aren't being fulfilled and it's probably yours.

Men often think women need cuddling after sex, which may or may not be true, but he should at least give you the option to whisper sweet nothings before rolling over.

   

   

7. He brings home sex toys you never said you wanted

Bringing anything into the bedroom (beyond sexy lingerie or a vibrator) without discussing it first is a little insulting. Most of the time, we're open to new ideas/locations/toys, assuming we've talked about it or gone sex toy shopping with you.

But if brings home a strap-on, a clown outfit, or a muzzle without asking you how you'd feel about wearing said muzzle, he may not be the man for you.

8. He stops looking at you during sex

We all know the groan-worthy expression, "You don’t have to look at the mantlepiece when you're stoking the fire," which is technically true. But if it becomes far more about sroking the fire than looking at the mantlepiece, he's not connecting with you.

Men are visual creatures; they get off on watching a girl react during sex so if they aren’t paying the slightest bit of attention to you, ask yourself why.

9. He makes passive-aggressive comments about your figure/weight

No matter what size or shape you are, your man should still find you attractive. 

So if he starts making "jokes" about how many cookies you're eating or brings you home a "thoughtful gift" of a gym membership, he's trying to tell you something. 

10. He tells you he's not happy in the bedroom

If you miss this one, you're on your own ladies.

Suzanne Jannese is a former kid’s TV presenter, fashion reporter and associate producer turned parenting author who writes about relationships, self-help and more on her blog Crummy Mummy (Who Drinks). Her work has been featured on BBC, Ravishly, Babble, and more.