10 Hints All Men Give That They're Not Happy In The Bedroom

not into you

We already gave you the signs that your woman's not happy in bed. But now it's the men's turn to speak. If your dude/guy/boyfriend/husband/lover is doing any of the following, we hate to break it to you but...your love is NOT like whoa. (But fear not: there are ways to get your sex life back on track.) Let's get started:

1. He stays up late to watch football. In the heady early days of your relationship, nothing - and I mean nothing - will keep his hands off you. So if he's more interested in re-playing the highlights of the big game that he's already watched earlier that day, take it as a hint.

He should want to get his hands on you not the remote control, and he may be using TV as an excuse to avoid doing it. (And men rarely avoid doing it.) One friend admitted, ‘When my boyfriend actively made sure we were never going to bed at the same time, I knew we were doomed. Two weeks later, we split."

2. Oral sex becomes a thing of the past. All my male guy friends told me how much they love going down on a girl they're REALLY into. But they also admitted that when they start to lose interest in her, they aren't as concerned about keeping her happy in the bedroom.

So if he's is neglecting your vagina (or foreplay all-together) and only concerns himself with, well, himself, something's rotten in Denmark. 

3. He starts suggesting things you aren’t comfortable with. It's pretty simple: Men who are into you care about how you feel between the sheets. So if your guy knows you absolutely, definitely are NOT into anal sex but he keeps pushing you to try it (or accidentally goes for the wrong hole) he either doesn’t care much about how you feel (in which case, ditch!) or he cares more about how he feels. (In which case, also ditch).

In a healthy relationship, it's normal to want to keep jazz things up every once in awhile, but not to the extent that either one of you feels uncomfortable.

4. He starts watching more porn ... alone. Contrary to popular belief, porn is not "the devil" in a healthy sexual relationship; most men watch a little bit of it and viewed together it can be a an erotic experience. But if he chooses his hand over your vagina more times than not, something's amiss. 

5. He falls asleep on the job. You may laugh - who falls asleep during sex? - but this has legitimately happened to several of my buddies. Admittedly, they’d had a few drinks (which might be the only exception for snoozing during sex) but if your other half is sober and fairly well-rested and they're still dozing off midway through the act, you aren’t keeping his attention.

I once had a boyfriend stop me in the middle of sex and say he was hungry for baked beans on toast. Then he actually got up, untangled himself from my body and proceeded to make food. How much longer did that relationship last? 5 minutes.

6. Post-coitus cuddling has been replaced with post-coitus sleeping. Sure, sometimes you're both so exhausted (or tipsy) that you simply pass out after a quickie. That's normal. But if post-climax, you're game for pillow-talk and he's all about hitting the pillow, someone's needs aren't being fulfilled and it's probably yours.

(Gary Chapman's The 5 Love Languages brilliantly explains how each of you express and receive love; buy your spouse a copy stat.) Men often think women need cuddling after sex, which may or may not be true, but he should at least give you the option to whisper sweet nothings before rolling over.

7. He brings home sex toys you never said you wanted. Bringing anything into the bedroom (beyond sexy lingerie or a vibrator) without discussing it first is a little insulting. Most of the time, we're open to new ideas/locations/toys, assuming we've talked about it or gone sex toy shopping with you.

But if brings home a strap-on, a clown outfit, or a muzzle without asking you how you'd feel about wearing said muzzle, sister, he may not be the man for you.

8. He stops looking at you during sex. We all know the groan-worthy expression, "You don’t have to look at the mantlepiece when you're stoking the fire," which is technically true. But if it becomes far more about sroking the fire than looking at the mantlepiece, he's not connecting with you.

My friend always wondered why her boyfriend only liked to have anal sex with her. Turns out, he was gay. Men are visual creatures; they get off on watching a girl react during sex so if they aren’t paying the slightest bit of attention to you, ask yourself why.

9. He makes passive-aggressive comments about your figure/weight. No matter what size or shape you are, your man should still want to bone your brains out. (This isn't to say you should let yourself go, we're talking a few pounds here and there.)

So if he starts making "jokes" about how many cookies you're eating or brings you home a "thoughtful gift" of a gym membership or dental-floss thongs you clearly can't fit into, he's trying to tell you something. 

10. He tells you he's not happy in the bedroom. If you miss this one, you're on your own ladies.

Sign up for YourTango's free newsletter!