Women With Strong Mental & Emotional Intelligence Usually Say 11 Phrases In Everyday Conversation
valentina giarre | Unsplash Like anyone else, men like to know they matter and are a vital part of our lives. So when women with strong mental & emotional intelligence open their mouths to tell him something kind, they make sure they've thought about the words of affirmation men love to hear.
While these examples work great for romantic partners, words of affirmation are for men of all sorts: Your dad, your grandpa, your son, and even your best guy friend would love to hear these casual phrases to boost their egos and make them happier as a result.
Women with strong mental and emotional intelligence usually say these things casually:
1. 'You're great'
When you mean it authentically, this phrase is more than just a compliment; it's a reminder that he is seen for all of the good things he does. If he's being funny, saying, "You're great" while you're laughing is a deeper compliment than just, "You're funny!" It's about his whole aura and what he brings to the world.
2. 'I appreciate your hard work and effort'
Sometimes, men will attempt to please us by fixing things or doing various chores or tasks to make us happy. Saying we appreciate his effort and work is a phrase that will go so far with anyone, but especially with men because society has taught them their value lies in how they contribute, financially and physically.
Of course, this shouldn't be the only thing you value about the men in your life, but recognizing the hard work of anyone, regardless of gender, is a lovely gift to give. Couples counselor Larry Michel agrees, saying, "One of the most powerful gifts we can give ourselves and those we care about is the practice of genuine gratitude. Too often gratitude looks like, 'Gee, thanks for taking out the garbage,' or 'I’m grateful you take the kids to school,' or some other statement of fact uttered without much emotion or conviction.
"The missing piece often is the depth of our statement of gratitude. Genuine gratitude is almost tangible," Michel continues. "We must know in every way that our appreciation for both the small and the big things is grounded in our bodies with a solid knowledge of absolute value and importance. We just don’t think it; we feel it to our core."
3. 'I'm proud of you'
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Men are often taught to measure their worth by their work and accomplishments. I find this to be better than what women are often judged by: how nice they are, how pretty they are, or how many friends they have.
Telling a man how proud you are of him for who he is and what he does makes him feel like you hold him in a positive and endearing light, and studies in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology even showed a direct link between expressing feelings of pride and a person being more highly motivated.
4. 'When you're ready to talk, I'm here'
Men don't always want to talk, especially when you want them to. Telling him you're here when he's ready to talk lets him feel respected, loved, and understood. This phrase goes a long way.
5. 'Go see your friends'
Jealousy rears its ugly head in many relationships, and I have heard from many men about how their female partners tend to get angry or jealous when they want to see friends.
"Your jealousy is not allowing you to live the kind of life and create the kind of relationship you've always wanted. It might even be endangering your relationship and your well-being. You deserve to have what you want, and you actually can have what you want. It's time to see jealousy for what it is — destructive and standing in your way — and to do something about it," advised relationship coaches Susie and Otto Collins.
Telling your man to go see his friends without clenched teeth or constant texts shows him the affirmation he needs: You trust him. You value his free time and identity as a person.
6. 'I value your opinion'
Telling your best guy you value his opinion and want his feedback makes him feel useful, helpful, and loved. You will make his day when you tell him this. The key is to not just say the words, but actually listen when someone you love speaks. Making someone feel like their thoughts and opinions matter goes a long way in creating the type of bond that stays strong for life.
7. 'You look so handsome'
Women aren't the only "birds" whose feathers like to be fluffed. Of course, this isn't a phrase to use with your boss or colleague, but maybe your dad or brother or son might appreciate a compliment on their looks at the right, appropriate moment.
8. 'You're a good man'
Let's be real, there's a lot of dialogue about "good men versus bad men," and men know this. They know what women believe to be a good man versus a bad man. Telling him he's a good man reminds him you see his goodness. That goes a long way!
9. 'I understand' or 'I'm trying to understand'
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We won't always intuitively understand how others feel, but when we do make an effort, it makes them feel great. If you don't understand a man, tell him you are trying. The effort makes the difference.
10. 'I respect the stuff you're into'
This is mostly for romantic partners, but it can also be used for a male bestie or your grown son — any man you share an emotional dependence with. If you truly respect a guy's need for a certain hobby or habit, telling him you respect his quirks makes him feel as if you allow him to be his person and your feelings aren't hurt when he does something you can't (or don't want to) join in on.
Life coach Mitzi Bockmann expanded on this idea: "You know you want to be treated with respect. You most likely treat your friends and family and the barista with respect. You might even treat a co-worker you don’t like with respect. So why then is it okay to not treat your man with respect? Being treated with respect is more of a carrot than a stick with everyone."
11. 'I think it's so cool that you...'
As much as people love compliments about their overall selves, like "you're great" or "you're handsome," taking note of one thing they are passionate about and sharing why you admire it is even more meaningful.
For instance, "I think it's cool you're so committed to your weekly birdwatching walk," or "I think it's so cool you are so passionate about doing what's right, even when it's hard or unpopular," or even "I think it's so cool you're so engaged with your kids' activities."
Laura Lifshitz writes about divorce, relationships, parenting, and marriage for YourTango, The New York Times, Women’s Health, Working Mother, and PopSugar.
