Woman Feels 'Insulted' After Date Sends Her A Venmo Request For The Fries They Shared
She wondered if she was overreacting to think his request was petty.
F8 studio | Shutterstock When you go out on a date with someone, especially someone new who you don’t know very well, it’s usually best to have a discussion beforehand about how you’re going to handle the bill. One new couple didn’t have this conversation before their first date, but it didn’t seem to lead to any awkwardness at first. However, the next day, when the woman got a Venmo request from her date for half of the fries they shared, things definitely got uncomfortable.
Sure, we're all suffering through this difficult economy, and dating can get expensive. But splitting fries isn't exactly dinner at a Michelin-starred restaurant. It's not surprising that this woman was insulted by her date's unusual approach to splitting the bill.
The woman admitted to feeling pretty ‘insulted’ after her date requested just $3 from her.
A 28-year-old woman posted in Reddit’s r/AmIOverreacting forum to ask if she was wrong for reacting so strongly to the request the 30-year-old man she went on a first date with made of her.
“We got burgers and fries to share,” she said, “and I offered to cover the tip since he paid for the meal.” This seems like a perfectly reasonable way to address the situation and to ensure that everyone paid their fair share. Apparently, it wasn’t enough for the date, though.
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“This morning, I woke up to a Venmo request for $3.25 with the note ‘half the fries,’” she shared. “At first I thought it was a joke, but nope, he was serious.”
Unsurprisingly, this woman was not impressed with her date’s attempt to get just over $3 from her for some fries they split. “I declined it and texted him that it was petty,” she continued. “He responded saying I was overreacting, that ‘it’s about fairness’ and ‘that’s just how he is.’ Now I feel turned off and honestly insulted.” She went on to say, “My friends are split, some think I’m being petty too, others think it’s a red flag. Am I overreacting?”
Commenters confirmed that this was strange behavior and not an overreaction on her part.
As one user sagely advised, “This is tacky because it’s such a minimal amount of money … Anyone with a brain knows that requesting three bucks will 100% guarantee no future date. He’s telling you that the $3 is more valuable than your company.”
Several people suggested that she return his pettiness with more of the same. “How much did you leave for a tip? Venmo him asking for half of it,” one person suggested. “I would send him the money for my whole meal with a public message on Venmo to keep his petty [expletive] away from me. Let all of his contacts see it. I’ll match petty any day,” another offered.
Overall, the general consensus was that this was a major red flag, and the woman was not overreacting at all. Had he talked to her before the date about an even split, it would likely be a different story, but a Venmo after the fact for just $3 and then to blame it on fairness is, quite frankly, not exactly fair or attractive.
Experts say that the etiquette surrounding who pays for a first date isn’t really as complicated as some people may make it out to be.
Dating experts told CNBC that the answer to who pays for the first date in the case of a heterosexual couple is not rocket science. Blaine Anderson, a men’s dating coach and founder of Dating with Blaine, simply said, “The man should pay for the first date.”
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Erika Ettin, an online dating coach and the founder of A Little Nudge, felt the same way. “I recommend my male clients pay and my female clients offer,” she said, adding that it “shouldn’t be that complicated.”
A survey from The Harris Poll showed that public sentiment fell in line with what experts said. Seventy-two percent of Americans agreed that the man should pay for the first date for a heterosexual couple. Of course, couples don’t have to abide by this tradition. They’re free to split the bill however they see fit. A man asking for $3.25 after he already said he would pay for the meal is pretty tacky, though.
Here's a good rule of thumb: Talk about the date and the bill before the date. If you want to ask someone out and can only afford ice cream, don't promise burgers and fries.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
