Single Woman Shares ‘Atrocious’ Response To Asking 25 Friends To Celebrate Her 35th Birthday Instead Of A Wedding
Alena Plotnikova | Unsplash A single lawyer named Laney conducted a "social experiment" on her friends to see how they would respond to a celebration of her birthday. Instead of reacting the way she'd hoped, she explained, they all failed miserably.
Turning 35 is considered a true milestone birthday for many people. It's a time when celebrants want to mark the occasion in a meaningful way with the people they care about. So when Laney decided to plan a big celebration with her friends, she was shocked at their response.
A woman shared the 'atrocious' response she received when asking 25 friends to celebrate her 35th birthday instead of a wedding.
"So I'm turning 35, and I sent all of my friends an email that said essentially like, 'Hey, I'm single. I don't have any prospects. I don't know if I'm ever gonna get married. I have attended everybody's bachelorette, everybody's weddings, everybody's baby showers. I just would like to do something to celebrate me.'"
Laney invited about 25 women in her life who were friends, and she estimated that at least 70% of them were friends she'd had for a long time. The other 30% were women whom she was just getting to know. In her mind, Laney was testing whether she could make good friends in her 30s based on who would want to come to a wedding-like celebration.
She admitted that a vast majority of the women she reached out to didn't respond.
"Literally no response," Laney continued. "Which was shocking. So that was the first group. The next group was the married women that have small children that didn't even pretend to consider it."
Laney explained that her married mom friends didn't even bother to pretend that they were contemplating coming or even thinking of how they would get a babysitter. She pointed out that the ones who were breastfeeding were the only ones she understood who probably wouldn't be able to make it, but the ones who were not didn't really have a viable excuse in her mind.
"One of them, I will never forget, said verbatim, 'I cannot wait for your actual bachelorette party. That's gonna be so much fun.' So truly, all we are celebrated for is finding a man, and I will never get to be celebrated for anything else."
Women shouldn't have to get married just to be celebrated.
In the year 2026, women should be able to get their friends together and celebrate a birthday without hearing excuses or being dismissed for a moment that matters to them. It shouldn't take a wedding or a baby shower to get your friends to show up and celebrate.
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"In many ways, the most important friendship in our lives is the one we have with our romantic partners," explained psychology expert Robert Puff. "The first criteria we should look for in this partner is someone who is ultimately a good friend to us, meaning that they are kind, positive, loving, and supportive. If we’re dating someone and they’re a jerk, it’s probably safe to assume that they’re not a good friend."
If being a good friend is important in a romantic relationship, then it stands to reason that having good friends is important for a healthy life. Friends should support each other through all the stages of life, whether that includes marriage and kids or not.
A birthday is just as valid a reason to ask people to gather and make you feel special. Heck, it might even be more important than a wedding and baby shower combined.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
