Wife Asks If It’s ‘Bizarre’ To Not Be Invited To A Wedding Her Husband’s Attending

Everyone knows that a wedding is not a cheap affair these days, so it makes sense that an engaged couple would want to cut costs wherever possible. But does that mean it’s OK to only invite one spouse to the wedding, and not the other?

That’s the question that content creator Michelle Sandland and her husband faced after he was invited to a wedding, but she was not. Fellow TikTok users were quick to respond to her video, echoing her utter confusion. They also asked another question that might have been even more important: If she wasn’t invited, why did her husband even go?

A wife asked if it was ‘bizarre’ that she wasn’t invited to a wedding her husband was going to.

“Let me know if you agree that this is bizarre,” she said in a video. “My husband is going to a wedding tonight, and I’m not invited … And I’ve heard of people not doing plus ones for, like, non-serious relationships or something like that, but no spouses? I don’t know.”

TikTokers who commented on the video did think something was bizarre, but not what Sandland was asking about. “The strangest part is that he’s going,” one said. “I’m a wedding planner. It’s unheard of not to include a spouse in a wedding invitation,” another noted.

Still, others thought there might be an explanation for the unique situation. Several people pointed out that the couple could have simply been facing financial constraints and had to cut corners where they could.

Another person asked if it happened to be a co-worker’s wedding, implying that Sandland wasn’t invited because they simply didn’t know her. She responded, saying, “Yeah, it’s an old co-worker. I’m thinking it’s just super, super small.”

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Things got even weirder when one commenter asked for an ‘investigation,’ so the wife shared a follow-up video.

In the second video, Sandland gave her husband a good-natured grilling about the wedding. “You’re under official investigation for going to a wedding without me that I was not invited to. What do you have to say for yourself?” she asked. “You weren’t invited,” he replied, shrugging in confusion.

“Did you bring another date?” she continued. “No. I wasn’t allowed to,” he said, before sarcastically adding, “You weren’t my first choice.” When Sandland asked for his message to the people who felt like it was wrong for him to go alone, he said, “I think that’s sad. Are you joined at the hip with your spouse, or do you have individual lives that you’re allowed to live?”

Unfortunately for Sandland, people who watched the video saw red flags everywhere. “I don’t like him and I won’t clarify further,” one said. Another added, “Married people do not have separate lives … That’s the point of being married.” A third person commented, “Keep us posted when you file for divorce.”

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As far as etiquette is concerned, it sounds like the wife definitely should have been invited to the wedding.

Irene Katzias, the founder and lead planner at Irene + Co Events, told The Knot that the waters around including a plus-one can be a little murky. “As you might imagine, it’s up to every couple’s unique discretion,” she said. “When giving out the plus-one option, ask yourself, ‘How does this affect the social dynamics of the evening and the seating chart I’ve planned?’”

Nicoleta Ionescu | Shutterstock

The general consensus is that spouses should be included, though. The Knot contributor Chapelle Johnson added, “It’s best to invite both parties in a married couple, even if you’re closer to one person than the other, or have never met someone’s spouse.”

It’s understandable that the couple might have been trying to save some money by keeping the guest list small, but it was really in pretty poor taste not to let a guest bring their actual spouse to the wedding. As for Sandland’s husband’s behavior, it really is best for internet sleuths to leave the interpretation of their dynamic to the woman who is actually married to him.

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Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.