Self

No Opinions Needed: Why You Shouldn't Give A Damn If You're 'Good Enough'

Photo: SunKids / Shutterstock
woman liberated in a field

“What, am I not good enough for you?”

A phrase that manages to slip through our lips more often than not because society presents us with high expectations regarding the way we should look, act, and believe in our own self-worth.

As women, we’re constantly haunted by the fear of not being good enough, especially in personal relationships.

Whether we’re willing to admit it or not, at some point in our lives we have questioned ourselves.

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Questioned if we were doing something wrong, if we were being too clingy, or if we just weren’t good enough for our significant other.

But why is it always us wondering what we did wrong, and not the other way around?

I for one won’t lie; I’ve battled with the fear of not being good enough.

Bad breakups and bad guys to blame, I have let those words slip at times when I was scared. Scared that no matter how hard I tried to be a “good” person, I still wouldn’t be good enough for a relationship.

“Good enough” has the power to stress us out, lead us to alter our appearances, and even change the ways that we act.

Why do we continue to let it devour us in every relationship we find ourselves in?

I can’t tell you that one day you’ll just be able to swear off the insecurities for good, but I can tell you that once you take a step back and look at everything that you’ve accomplished, being “good enough” will be replaced with “the best that I can be.”

Finding true happiness begins when you stop caring what people think or expect of you, and I think that was the realization that I had.

No longer having to question if I was being a good girlfriend, or if I was good enough for his friends and family is an indescribable relief.

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I have realized that I don’t want to change who I am to fit a common mold, nor am I willing to stand in the shadow of someone else.

I can also say that by allowing myself the time to be single, I’ve done my best to stop questioning if I’m good enough because I am.

Screw society’s expectations when it comes to the ways that we look or act. Happiness is all about finding yourself and being the best that you can be.

I know it’s hard when you reflect on past relationships and wonder if maybe, just maybe, things would be different if you didn’t say something, or acted a certain way.

But you know what? Who really gives a damn?

It’s not even worth you getting stressed about.

Whether your significant other just doesn’t realize how awesome you are, or your insecurities have started to get the best of you, hear me out on one thing: You are good enough.

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Unwritten is a website for millennials written and run by millennials. We’re committed to giving Generation-Y the discussion they need, whether it be a source of news, a much needed laugh, a comforting shoulder to cry on, or a place to have their own stories heard.

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This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.