Vegan Wants To Back Out Of Offer To Pay For Friend's Birthday Dinner After He Picks A BBQ Restaurant

They didn't expect their friend to pick a restaurant that is openly hostile to vegans.

group of friends eating meat Ground Picture / Shutterstock

It’s normal to want to do something nice for a friend on their birthday. Treating the birthday boy and a group of friends to dinner is incredibly generous, but that’s exactly what one person planned to do for their friend, Luke.

Things just didn’t quite go according to plan.

A vegan offered to pay for their friend’s birthday dinner, but he chose a BBQ restaurant.

In an anonymous Reddit post, someone shared their unique and frustrating predicament. “My friend Luke is turning 40 and I offered to pay for him and a group of our friends to have dinner anywhere Luke wanted,” they said.


Vegan Doesn't Want To Pay For Friend's Birthday Dinner At BBQ RestaurantPhoto: bukharova / Canva Pro

Instead of this being accepted as an incredibly kind gesture, Luke made the situation more than a little uncomfortable.

RELATED: Woman Upset After Her 34-Year-Old Boyfriend Forces Her To ‘Split The Bill’ On An Unexpected Valentine’s Day Date With His Parents


“Luke knows I’ve been vegan since my 20s, and it’s never been an issue before,” the friend stated. “When I asked where he made reservations he said a local BBQ place that is famous here for having a menu that mocks people who don’t eat meat.”

The friend explained that the menu “literally has a section that says, ‘Vegetarian options: don’t let the door hit you on your way out.’”

According to the friend, “I asked what he expected me to eat, and he got huffy and said, well, it’s his birthday, so it shouldn’t matter, I should eat before getting there and just order drinks while everyone else eats dinner and still enjoy everyone’s company, etc.”



This friend made it abundantly clear that they didn’t expect Luke to pick somewhere that would work well for them. “I had zero expectations of Luke picking somewhere vegan-friendly,” they said. “I expected him to pick a steakhouse and I would've been fine with a salad and some sides.”


“I didn’t expect him to choose somewhere that prides themselves on meat being in every single dish on the menu,” they admitted sadly.

RELATED: Couple Blindsided When Their Share Of A 40th Birthday Dinner Came To $1,100

At this point, they felt bad “taking back" the gift. Then again, “This is a group of nine, so I’m also feeling miffed about spending $300+ on a meal I can’t eat.”

Other Reddit users felt indignant for the vegan friend.

Commenters on the post couldn’t seem to understand why one friend would do such a thoughtless thing to a good friend.

“The choice he made feels very intentional on his part, and not in a good way. Honestly, it seems he thought it would be funny to humiliate you. He’s using the fact that it’s his birthday to get away with it. Luke doesn’t sound like a great friend,” one person said.




A second person pointed out an important distinction of what exactly the friend’s gift was. “You didn’t offer to just give him a few hundred bucks for dinner, you offered to buy dinner for a group, of which you are a member,” they said. “So if you can’t participate in the dinner then it isn’t a dinner for the group and does not meet the qualifications of your offer.”

What Luke is doing is simply bad etiquette.

Clearly, this friend really cares about Luke and his happiness. So much so, in fact, that they feel bad just thinking about backing out of paying for a dinner they cannot eat.

Luke’s actions are rude and thoughtless. If he really cared about his friend, he would make sure everyone could be included in some way. 




When dining with a group of people, it’s always important to make sure that everyone is included. Making sure there are options for friends with different dietary needs is important.

As one person said on Reddit, “It is a major part of going out or inviting others that, as soon as they are part of the group, their needs will be considered.”

RELATED: Man Wonders If He's Being Ungrateful When His Wife Buys Him Gifts That Are 'Actually For Her'


Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.