To The Girl Who Is Feeling Angry: You Are Allowed To Be Mad

Anger can be transformed into empowered fuel that can move you closer to your goals and the life you want to live.

Last updated on May 19, 2023

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By Haley Stern

To the girl who is feeling angry:

I am here to tell you that, despite what you might have been told, you are allowed to be mad.

I am not here to tell you how to “get over” your anger. Nor will I determine whether or not your anger is justified. Rather, I’m letting you know that it is okay to sit with these feelings and hold space for them.

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Regardless of what triggered your anger, I want you to know that I believe you, and I believe in the reality and validity of what you are experiencing.

Anger has such a negative connotation, bad reputation, and even a stigma in our society. But the truth is that there is no such thing as a “bad” emotion.

You are a human being with the right to experience every human emotion, including this one.

Sitting with anger is painful enough without adding layers of shame and isolation on top of it. Know that you don’t have to push your anger down; what you’re feeling is not wrong.

You don’t have to change or fix a thing right now. You can just be.


All emotions deserve the chance for healthy expression, processing, and releasing, and anger is no exception. Ignoring, denying, or invalidating your anger will only cause the pain to grow.

However, when anger has the chance to be heard and held in a safe space, it can truly heal. Your anger, when channeled for good, can be your power.

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Being angry is often written off as an irrational and extreme emotion, but how we respond to the feeling is everything.

Anger doesn’t have to exist as uncontrolled rage forever; it can be transformed into empowered fuel that can move you closer to your goals and the life you want to live.


The intensity of your anger can indicate the intensity of your desire for justice, love, and change. It can reveal your moral compass, where your heart truly lies, and the depths of your ability to protect and fight for what and who you love, and what is right.

These are beautiful aspects of you, not ones to be ashamed of. And I believe in your ability to channel what you are feeling to bring your most honest qualities to light.

I know being angry can feel scary and dark, but know that experiencing darkness does not make you inherently dark. It is not who you are.

Your experience of anger does not make you bad, and it does not make you “too much.” It makes you human, bravely experiencing the intersection between the weight of life’s pain and the light of your inner fire.


I promise that light shines brighter. You are allowed.

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Haley Stern is a business writer, podcast notes writer, and freelance copywriter. Her work has appeared on Thrive Global, Her Campus, The Mighty, The Panther, and others.