4 Tiny Habits Of People With The Most Emotional Resilience

Photo: Dillon Kydd, Alex Shuper | Unsplash
Woman staying ahead of social media

Working on my brand and online business has brought conflict. I know social media can be full of junk, distraction, and negative energy. But I also see the incredible and endless opportunities for making new connections with fascinating human beings.

I see many people quitting, getting frustrated, and even depressed using social media. That’s no state to be in if you want to grow your movement. So, what separates those who struggle and those who crush on social media? You guessed it. The OFF button. I’m joking. (Sort of). There is another option, though — and that is your mindset. How you see things change your experience and choices.

RELATED: 4 Sneaky Ways To Use Social Media Without Being Destroyed By It

Here are 4 tiny habits of people with the most emotional resilience:

1. They take the long view

I always struggle when I have high expectations in the short term. My happiness starts to depend on doing well today, tomorrow, and this week. When a post doesn’t get the engagement I want, I feel bad. That's because when our expectations are high, we inadvertently make ourselves repeatedly frustrated. No bueno.

Take the long view. As others drop, you’re still here — because you enjoy the process. Understand that every little thing you do contributes, even if the results seem invisible. They’re not.

2. They're willing to be unfollowed

I used to feel a visceral discomfort in my chest when I lost a subscriber or follower. Over time, my concern faded in line with how I viewed things. People unfollowing me isn’t about me. It’s coincidental. It’s just data. But we can take it personally, which is silly. Maybe they didn’t need my content at that particular phase in their life. And who’s to know why anyone unfollows anyone? You’ll never really know, and, as such, you needn’t stew.

You must take the zoomed-out approach. Your audience is like a living organism expanding and shrinking depending on the climate and the season. As long as there is overall growth, fantastic. There is a shape, a definition to the community you are building.

If you aren’t repelling people, you aren’t building a movement — you’re building a vanilla audience. And a tepid gathering doesn’t rave. They don’t buy. You want unfollows. You must also be willing to offend, look bad, and make mistakes. No great community was built by someone who got it all right anyway.

RELATED: Why My Biggest Mistakes Made Me A Better Person

3. They don't argue on social media

You write a post. Someone shares a combative comment. You share your emotionally charged response. They bite back.



It’s no longer about discussion — it’s an argument. It’s become a proving match. There’s no logic in it anymore. This is when you must allow the other person to win the argument by stopping then and there. Arguments won or lost don’t get anywhere — and only serve to fray nerve endings. They are time sucks.

Mature (and mentally resilient) social media users don’t get into arguments. They don’t moan, troll, leave snarky comments, or complain unnecessarily, either. It’s just not worth it. Keep it light always. Those who get serious create more trouble for themselves and wonder why they never make it.

RELATED: How Arguing With Strangers On The Internet Affects Your Mental Health

4. They minimize Internet time

Every minute spent on social media when the Internet actively funnels in data is more time spent vulnerable to distraction, comparisonitis, and negative information.

If you’re using social media in a way that uses your strengths, like interacting with good people in the DMs, great. But if you know you’re wasting time, you can proactively minimize that:

  • Use a scheduling tool like Hypefury, or hire someone to distribute your content.
  • Disconnect from the web when in creative mode on your computer.
  • Be strict about how you use social media, using it only for key active uses like commenting and interacting to grow your community and connections (business growth).
  • Stop using it as a source of stimulation. This jacks you up artificially and makes you numb. There are far healthier sources of stimulation like walks and books.
  • Log your time on each platform and keep it within a defined window.
  • Take at least one day, ideally two days, OFF social media per week.

RELATED: How To Stop Wasting Time And Finally Get Stuff Done

Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. 

This article was originally published at Medium. Reprinted with permission from the author.