When Someone’s Extremely Empathetic & Observant, They Usually Notice 7 Things In Casual Conversation
Andrii Nekrasov | Shutterstock Observant and empathetic people have the uncanny ability to pick up nonverbal cues in a way other people really struggle with. Things like tone and body language often convey more than words alone.
People with high emotional intelligence are able to pick up on little things that other people miss. Even when a conversation doesn’t seem very important, they’ll still notice certain things about the other person that tell them a lot.
Empathetic people who have great intuition when it comes to other people usually notice these things when chatting casually:
1. The way someone’s tone changes based on the subject
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People often reveal a lot more about how they feel or what they think than what can just be identified from their words. This is when it’s helpful to pay attention to someone’s tone of voice to understand their true meaning.
Sometimes the ways that a person’s tone shifts are pretty obvious, but more subtle changes can be harder to pick up on, especially when you’re trying to keep up with the content of their words. Anyone with a gift for being empathetic and observant is better able to notice these differences without actually forgetting what’s being said.
2. Which questions people try to dodge
The kind of questions that it’s OK to ask someone depends on your relationship with them. Some inquiries really are intrusive and uncomfortable. There are also plenty of situations where you may ask someone a perfectly acceptable question, but they’ll do whatever they can to avoid answering.
People use deflection in this way so they don’t have to feel awkward or anxious. Some folks are so good at it that it’s easy to forget it ever happened. The people who naturally pay the most attention always notice, though, and it guides their future conversations with that person.
3. When someone isn’t being genuine
Some people have no problem saying what they think is best, even if they don’t really mean it. They’ll just hope that no one picks up on the discrepancy, which probably would be true for most.
Being super empathetic and observant gives someone the ability to differentiate between others’ words and body language, though. Everything from posture to facial expressions tells more of a story than their words do, and this group of people is the most likely to notice these things that others assume they’re hiding.
4. Who is included and excluded
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Things like how often someone speaks or who everyone else turns to when there’s a lull in the conversation seem so minor that the average person would think that understanding them would take a huge effort. It’s not like that for people who are highly observant, though.
The way different members of a group participate in a discussion is super telling. These group dynamics reveal what influences each person involved, so anyone who is able to decipher those things can learn a lot.
5. What topics someone is most interested in
Psychologist Rick Hanson, PhD, noted that “being a good listener brings many benefits,” like “gathering helpful information” and “making others feel like they matter to you.”
This is how people with a lot of empathy want to frame all of their communication. It’s a way of showing they care, but also a way to learn more about the other person and determine the best way to reach them.
It’s helpful to know what topics someone clearly feels the most excited about to make future conversations easier. More than that, it’s a window into who they really are that they’ll find invaluable since they really do care.
6. The small things that signal someone is stressed
Most people can usually figure out when someone they’re close to is feeling a lot of stress because they’ve gotten used to the little ways that it changes their behavior. It’s not as easy when you don’t know someone well, unless you’re very observant.
Most of the signs of increased stress are things someone feels internally. But subtle shifts in the way they speak, or even the way they carry themselves while doing so, can also indicate they’re feeling more pressure than they’re used to. It takes someone with special skills to recognize those things, though.
7. What people want to get out of the conversation
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It’s so frustrating when you just want to vent, but the person you’re talking to insists on offering all kinds of practical advice you don’t care about at all. Empathetic and observant people don’t make that mistake because they can tell what someone is actually looking for.
They know when the other person is seeking advice or reassurance, but they also know when it’s best to stay quiet and just provide support. Their extra level of insight helps them understand people more deeply and makes them a better friend in the process.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
