Socially Anxious People Often Worry About Doing 8 Things In Public That No One Else Usually Notices
Bricolage | Shutterstock We overestimate just how much other people notice and even care about us when we're out in the world.
While social anxiety is so much more nuanced than a simple fear of being perceived, their insecurities urge people to avoid these situations. They worry about doing things in public, making their lives harder, even though nobody else seems to notice.
Things socially anxious people worry about doing in public that nobody else notices
1. Crossing a busy street
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It might seem harmless, but for someone who's hyperaware of others' eyes and social perceptions, crossing a busy street may cause their social anxiety to bubble up. Worse yet, they're the only person crossing a street on foot, and there are tons of cars waiting for them to cross and watching them.
They're incredibly aware of themselves, as they so often are when others are supposedly looking at them. And they can't help but change their walking speed or fix their posture because of it.
2. Asking for help
If they can exist out in the world without drawing attention to themselves, someone with social anxiety will try their best to do exactly that. They suffer in silence and get to a breaking point before asking for help.
They'll pretend to be busy or on their phone when strangers who might want to talk are around. They generally prefer being on their own. But they're fighting against their anxiety with avoidance and distractions, not realizing that trying to fight how they're feeling only keeps them stuck in this negative feedback loop.
3. Taking a phone call
There's something already revealing about having to talk to someone on the phone, especially for socially anxious people. But that stress is only amplified when they're also out in public, with other people supposedly listening in on their conversations.
The people around them don't actually care enough about what they're saying to judge them. Their phone anxiety is somewhat disproportionate, because even if they were judging, those strangers shouldn't hold so much power over how they feel.
4. Eating
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According to a 2023 study, many people struggling with social anxiety tend to be more prone to disordered eating habits and emotional eating. They worry about being perceived and watched while eating, which can make it hard to eat in public. It can also lead to avoidant and isolating habits around food.
They may wait to eat their lunch until nobody is around at work or even save their leftovers to enjoy in private. It's all because they're holding onto a belief that they'll be judged for how or what they eat.
5. Sneezing or coughing
Despite being completely normal, natural parts of our lives, coughing is a socially anxious person's nightmare in public. When the train is somewhat silent or they're sitting in a work meeting, that anxiety is intense.
Yes, there are manners they and everyone should follow, but even then, they're holding back a cough or leaving the room to sneeze whenever they can.
According to a 2015 study, people with social anxiety also tend to perceive these moments as more stressful than they were. They take on more unnecessary stress in their lives, draining themselves from moments that others never think about.
6. Finding their personality
Socially anxious people worry about conversations with strangers and small talk at work because it feels impossible to be themselves. They're living so intensely up in their heads that finding their authentic self amid all that noise can feel difficult.
They feel far away from themselves and, ironically, hyperaware of how they're appearing to others. It makes them feel alone even in groups of people. They're often stuck in a cycle of loneliness. Even when they're around people, they're disconnected from their true selves.
7. Parking
When they're in their car, a person's social anxiety can influence how they drive. They're worried about parking because they don't want to be watched while finding a spot or circling the block. They're afraid of being judged for going too slow or having their windshield wipers going.
It might sound silly to someone who never gives these things a second thought, but for socially anxious people, they can't help but be aware of how they're being looked at.
8. Checking out or paying
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These people have a tendency to overprepare for basic interactions to avoid their fear of uncertainty. They make sure they follow a social script and try to predict what they'll need. But it often creates a lot of tension and stress around interactions that the average person engages in without thinking too hard about.
There are also small missteps and things they worry about being perceived harshly for. A declined card or a stammer while talking to a grocery store clerk, or even missing something in their cart while checking out, makes them stressed. They can't help but hold onto these little things as evidence that they're not doing a great job socially.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
