People With Zero Ability To Control Their Facial Expressions Usually Get Annoyed By 7 Things In Casual Conversation
KaterynaUKR | Shutterstock We usually think about communication as something that happens through talking and listening, but facial expressions are just as important when you’re trying to understand someone.
Some people are a lot better at controlling their expressions than others, though. For those who can’t, it’s basically like they’re speaking without a filter. This means they have to deal with annoying issues in pretty much every conversation.
People who can’t control their facial expressions get annoyed by these things when they’re having a conversation:
1. Working to match their expression to the topic
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Some feelings just aren’t appropriate to show in certain situations, like laughing when someone trips. But people who can’t control their facial expressions obviously have a hard time keeping their true emotions to themselves, even when it would make things really awkward.
Some of them might try to control their expressions to avoid this. Psychologists actually believe everyone is capable of self-monitoring to make sure their actions and emotions fit the social situation they’re in on some level.
This takes effort, though. Some people do it easily, but people who reveal everything in their expressions have to put a lot more energy into it. It’s exhausting to always be that aware.
2. Having to constantly reassure everyone
Asking for reassurance only becomes unhealthy when someone does it constantly as a way to soothe their anxiety. It’s understandable that whoever was on the other end of those conversations would get frustrated with always providing comfort, but it’s even worse for people who can’t control their expressions.
In that case, the reassurance changes from someone asking if they made the right choice to asking if the other person is mad at them. This gets old because it’s obvious to them that they aren’t upset, but other people aren’t so sure and feel better after asking.
3. Reacting to little things they notice without meaning to
Even when we’re focused on what’s being said in a conversation, there are a thousand other details that we pick up on at the same time. It’s impossible not to notice if someone’s hair is out of place or if they have food stuck in their teeth.
Those things elicit a reaction, too, although we often don’t realize it. That makes it really uncomfortable for someone who unintentionally shows what they’re thinking on their face. They would be forced to explain away what happened to try to protect the other person’s feelings.
4. Everyone automatically knowing how they feel about gossip
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It’s almost impossible to hear some juicy gossip you weren’t expecting and not have some kind of opinion about it. People who think gossip is a bad thing are able to hide that gut reaction, though, and keep their face neutral to shut down the conversation.
The same can’t be said for people who can’t control their expressions. Whatever they think will register on their face right away so that they can’t hide it. This could tell the person they’re talking to a lot and end up turning them into the new topic of gossip.
5. Being told to change the expression they didn’t know they made
Humans are wired to seek social acceptance, which explains why so many people who can’t control their expressions try to consciously monitor themselves. A similar issue comes up when someone else says their expression isn’t appropriate and they need to change it.
They’ll have the impulse to listen, but they’ll also feel annoyed at having to change part of who they are and give in to other people’s demands. Even if they know it’s for the best, that doesn’t mean it will feel comfortable.
6. Someone feeling hurt because of what they saw on their face
It’s normal for people to feel bad when they hurt someone else’s feelings, but things get complicated when it’s unintentional. Sometimes people feel hurt when no one actually did something wrong. That leaves the other person wondering if they should apologize for something they didn’t even do.
This is a familiar situation for people who can’t control their facial expressions. If something flashes across their face that they would never say, it could easily upset someone. Then they’ll have to comfort them and deal with their own guilt when they weren’t trying to cause pain in the first place.
7. People trying to talk about the opinion they showed
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There are plenty of situations where it’s best to keep your opinion to yourself to avoid conflict. But it’s hard for someone to keep their opinion to themselves when it’s clearly written on their face.
A lot of people would take that as an opportunity to discuss the other person’s thoughts. It seems natural to them because it’s pretty obvious, but it would still be uncomfortable for the one whose opinions are under a microscope. Just because someone can identify what they’re feeling doesn’t mean they want to have a deep conversation about it.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
