There’s A 34% Chance Your Partner Is Hiding This From You, Says Survey
Honesty is the best policy when it comes to relationships.
AnnaStills | Getty Images One of the worst things about the American economy and our culture around money is that if your finances aren't in order, you're made to feel like it's a commentary on your worth as a person. Which is great for propping up the system, but not great for one's self-esteem or relationships!
It's especially bad when it comes to committed partnerships, where both honesty and finances are key issues. And according to a new survey, our discomfort and anxiety over money and debt is wreaking havoc on a lot of relationships.
More than a third of people are hiding their credit card debt from their partner.
The survey was conducted by financial institution Credit One Bank and looked at 1,000 people who've recently gotten their first credit card to find out about their level of financial literacy and where they learned what they know. The results are about what you'd probably expect: they give a pretty dismal picture of both the state of financial literacy in America and the impact our culture around these topics is having on people.
Credit One found that 34% of people with a first-time credit card are hiding their habits and debts from their loved ones, whether it's their family, friends, or their spouse or partner. This, of course, suggests a certain level of shame around debt, and one that is pretty durable, even among people who've only JUST started using credit. But it also points to an arguably even bigger problem.
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Financial literacy among new credit card holders is low, and secrecy is making it worse.
If you're like a lot of people who grew up working class or working poor, your entry into the world of finances may have looked a lot like mine. A mom who begged you, "Please don't get a credit card, it will ruin your life!" and then turned you loose into a world that gives you every reason in the world to not follow that advice.
Credit cards were practically thrown at me when I went off to college, and I did the same thing as these survey participants. I kept it secret from everyone, embarrassed that my mom had been right. By the time I was a junior in college, I was $10,000 in debt. At 20. With a job in a dorm cafeteria.
Thankfully, credit standards are slightly more stringent today than they were then (though not by much), but Credit One's survey shows the culture around debt hasn't changed much. They found that 46%, nearly half, of these first-time credit card owners learned everything they know about finances from family or friends. Just 17% had received any formal education about it.
Some parents are equipped to dole out advice, of course, but many others are like my mom was: deep in the throes of financial trauma that colors any advice they give to their kids. Avoidance, like begging your kid to just never get a credit card and leaving it at that, is a key symptom of financial trauma. And while I know she meant well, I would have been far better served by actual guidance about how to use credit responsibly than those panicked warnings.
The survey found that most credit card holders don't even know the basics of how credit works.
Credit One's survey shows how this combination of a lack of literacy and financial trauma tends to manifest in young people. Nearly half of respondents said they didn't even understand how an APR works. You know, the very thing that makes a credit card a credit card, and not just "free money."
And accordingly, 1 in 4 first-time credit card holders said they'd already had an account forcibly closed because of missed payments or delinquencies. Those APRs make things add up shockingly fast, and it gets out of hand for many people. For Credit One's respondents, it's left more than half of them feeling daily remorse for their spending habits.
That, of course, just continues the financial trauma cycle and leads to more bad habits, whether it's getting another credit card and making the same mistakes or becoming like my mom, terrified of debt and finances, you just avoid the whole thing altogether and live in fear.
Credit isn't inherently bad. It can be used as a tool to build your life and move it forward. But with most people getting their first credit card between 18 and 24, according to Credit One's survey, it's clear that financial literacy needs to be taught long before young people reach adulthood, so that they don't have to learn it the hard way.
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.
