15 Simple Ways To Build Resilience (So You'll Never Lose Your Cool Ever Again)

Stay calm and bounce back stronger than ever.

woman sitting in sunset Aquamethods / Shutterstock

There is one thing of which we can be sure: Things occasionally go wrong in life. The sooner you accept it, the better.

You might be facing a debilitating illness, a loss, an accident, a struggling relationship, a financial setback, or juggling multiple demands. Or you could be tested on a smaller scale, with something such as a challenging work problem, a screaming toddler, a missed bus, or someone cutting you off. 


You can either succumb, push through, or bounce back. 

And it matters less what the actual situation is, but more about how you respond to that event. What counts is how resilient you are and how you show up.

Resilience is the ability to cope, bounce back from difficulties, adapt continuously, learn, and grow, ultimately becoming stronger than ever before.

When you aren't resilient, you become stuck, and you give up your control — and you lose your cool. 

Resilient people can stay calm, adapt, recover from adversity, and meet life's challenges head-on.

Do you want to respond to challenges by retreating or melting down? Or would you rather be confident, willing, and ready to handle anything that comes your way? What you don't realize is that you're resilient right now. You have what it takes. Those qualities just need to be nurtured.


RELATED: Relationship Experts Reveal Non-Physical Traits Women Look For In A Partner

RELATED: 10 Things The Most Resilient People Do Every Day

Here are 15 everyday ways to build resilience, starting now:

1. Show compassion for yourself and others

Instead of mercilessly criticizing yourself, see yourself outside of yourself. You are human. You are allowed to make mistakes. 


It's normal to feel overwhelmed, to react, just to feel. Acknowledge your difficulty, then treat yourself with kindness.

2. Practice mindfulness

Set aside time every day to be still, breathe deeply, and let your thoughts come and go without judgment.

3. Make self-care a priority

Engage in restorative activities such as walks in nature, massages, and most of all, adequate sleep. Be physically and mentally ready for whatever comes your way.

RELATED: The One Word Happy Couples Use To Stop Fights Before They Start

4. Take breaks to recharge and gain perspective

You don’t always have a chance to press the reset button. But you can step back, even just for a few moments, and re-examine the situation.


5. Maintain a sense of humor

Permit yourself to have a light moment or experience joy. Choose to watch a comedy instead of the news. You can’t laugh and be stressed out at the same time.

6. Be clear on your values, standards, and boundaries

You are the most significant person in your life. To be your best you must be true to yourself. So be brave, say "no" if you need to, or "I can do this …" 

RELATED: How To Stop Yourself From Saying Something You'll Regret

7. Live with purpose

Have a sense of direction as you go about your life and each day. See the bigger picture. When you know where you're going, you won't be deterred by setbacks along the journey. 


8. Take programs or engage in activities that support personal growth

Learning opens the mind, so sign up for a class at your local community center, volunteer at a shelter, or pursuit the degree of your dreams.

9. Sharpen your problem-solving skills

Before deciding on a course of action, brainstorm options and explore possibilities. Avoid old patterns that have not served you. Stretch your mind. Ask, 'What else could I do?' 

Then, break actions down into manageable steps.

RELATED: 7 Critical Things To Do Before Being Intimate With Someone New

10. Control your controllable thoughts

Replace negative thoughts with more realistic ones. Sometimes, you have to say, "It is what it is." Accept it and move on.


11. See the silver lining

Often the most important lessons come from trying situations. Consider something positive that came out of it.

Or, if you're feeling negative, ask yourself, "What’s another way of looking at this?"

12. Just do it

Experiment and fail fast. Face your fears. Commit to trying something new and putting yourself out there. 

RELATED: 20 Answers To The Question: What Do Narcissists Want?


13. Ask for help

There are times when helping yourself means getting help from someone else. Put your pride aside. Build a support system of friends, family members, and trusted advisors. 

14. Adopt an attitude of gratitude

Find pleasure in small things. Every morning, give thanks for what you have — your loved ones, your integrity, and the promise of a new day.

15. Persevere, knowing you can do it

When you have a goal — small or large, stick to it. Tell yourself these things:

  • "I am not giving up!"
  • "I can overcome this."
  • "I’m bigger than this."
  • "I am resilient."

Some people seem to have more grit than others. Or else they show it well. 


If that's not you, don't give up. While there is no magic bullet to keeping things together, you can develop your resilience over time and then be prepared for whatever comes your way. It takes a willingness to practice and adopt practical strategies every day toward a more resilient, enjoyable life.

RELATED: 4 Signs Your Child Has A 'Highly Sensitive' Brain, According To Parenting Experts

Lisa Petsinis is a certified life and career coach who works with burnt-out individuals to reconnect to what matters, find their perfect work, and create more joy, meaning, and success.