7 Signs You And Your Best Friend Secretly Hate Each Other

There's a thin line between being enemies and being frenemies.

friends throwing leaves Oleggg/ Shutterstock

Best friends are the best until ... well until they're not anymore. A true best friend won't harbor bad blood against you, because if there's any she values you so much that she will address the problems first before they coagulate and get worse.

But we've all had that one BFF or close friend who became a problem due to built-up resentment, competition, and other reasons. When this happens, the friendship can do one of two things: slowly start to sink into a negative place until it morphs into some end-of-the-world blowout, or it becomes a major blowout amongst everyone the two of you know.


It's just how it is when best friends cut ties: painful and dramatic. 

Here are 7 signs you and your best friend secretly hate each other:

1. She looks for a replacement best friend

All people should have more than one friend, but when either you or your best friend starts to become new "besties" with another person and one of you suddenly doesn't have time for the other, one of you is looking for a replacement bestie.


RELATED: I Was Grateful When My BFF Called Me A Thief And Ended Our Friendship

2. She avoids communication with you

Suddenly, your BFF isn't returning your texts or calls at breakneck speed. Your BFF has things to do, when your partner-in-crime has never had anything to do that was more important than talking to you.

3. She turns everything into a competition

Everything has become a "who can do it better" scenario between the two of you, from haircuts to parenting. Nothing is kept from the scoreboard; each action is noted with a "Who won?" segment.

RELATED: I Didn't Realize I Was A Toxic Friend... Until My Best Friend Ghosted Me

4. She makes passive-aggressive remarks

There's nothing worse than subtle passive-aggressive remarks to make you feel so incensed that it wasn't apparent enough to address it. These remarks start to multiply until you're screaming at each other on the phone — or worse, in public. Gulp.


5. She stops being your go-to confidant

Your bestie told you everything and then all of a sudden you're only hearing drips and drabs of the story. Why? It's a punishment of sorts and a sign she's angry with you and is turning to others for advice. And if it's you doing this, you're angry at her and excluding her to be hurtful, and because you're mad.

RELATED: 3 People Reveal The Brutal Way They Finally Ended Their Toxic Friendships

6. She becomes less tolerant of you

Those little quirks you both used to find so cute? Not anymore. Suddenly, both or one of you is irritated with the other more frequently. "Can't you stop doing X, Y, or Z?" one of you will say. Instead of riding off a cliff Thelma & Louise style, it's like you're an old, miserable married couple.

7. She tears you down

You're picking at each other like you're both Thanksgiving turkey. Nothing either one of you does is good enough — not the plans you're making, not the way the other person parks her car, even the way you or her breathe creates an all-out war. You two might as well start a duel. It's getting ugly.


If you have bad blood with a best friend and the two of you have never had a conversation about it, perhaps it's time to get real with each other before you lose a close friend. However, maybe that's a good thing; perhaps this person isn't as good of a friend as you think. And if the blood is that bad, it might be time to break off the friendship.

RELATED: 4 Hidden Benefits Of Toxic Friendships

Laura Lifshitz is a former MTV personality and Columbia University graduate currently writing about divorce, sex, women’s issues, fitness, parenting, and marriage. Her work has been featured on YourTango, New York Times, DivorceForce, Women’s Health, Working Mother, Pop Sugar, and more.