6 Signs Of Energy Vampires & How To Slay Them Before They Drain You

You can survive and thrive, even when it feels like the life is being sucked out of you.

Last updated on Aug 10, 2022

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Have you encountered energy vampires?

A number of years ago, I had the responsibility of leading a team of business experts to help launch a new telecommunications company in Europe. I took five of the best in the industry to Sweden to meet with their five executive team members.

We were meeting for 10 hours a day for a week. Emotionally, physically and creatively, I was toast. I knew the energy was being sucked out of me by the minute.


Every 90 minutes, I would excuse myself, step outside around the corner where no one could see, and start doing jumping jacks to revive myself. Then, I would go back in for more torment.

Fortunately, I knew why this was happening, and I was lucky that my team could thrive without me. If not, it would have been the end of this part of my professional career.

What does it feel like to be around energy vampires?

Can you remember a time when you woke up early, excited to meet someone special for a breakfast meeting?

You order and proceed to talk, discovering more about each other. Then, slowly, you begin to look around and find it hard to keep your focus on the person. Then, you yawn and get a little fidgety.


What's going on? You got plenty of sleep the night before. You were pumped for this meeting, and now you feel exhausted and just want it to end.

Shortly after leaving and checking in with your best friend, you notice you're no longer tired. In fact, you feel great. There's no question about it: you had breakfast with an energy vampire.

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Where do you find energy vampires?

Remember back in the day when you could go to concerts, plays, or live seminars?

Think back on it. You get seated with a few people on either side of you, and settle in for the event. It’s high energy and a great presentation.

You're doing great and then, all of sudden, you jolt awake as you realize you had been leaning your head on your hand and you slipped off, jerking yourself back to life.

After the intermission, you grab a new seat at the end of an aisle. Perhaps, you were surrounded by energy vampires.

We are surrounded by people who sap the energy out of us. How do we identify them and then what can we do about it? Prepare yourself for the answer because it’s not what you think.


Here are 6 signs of an energy vampire and how to deal with them.

1. You're experiencing a loss of attention.

Despite your desire to pay attention to a person, it’s a strain to keep your focus. You want to hear every word, but discover yourself missing parts of the conversation.

You may have beaten yourself up for not being able to pay attention or even proclaimed yourself as ADD — you're not!

2. You’re tired.

You got plenty of sleep, and felt strong, attentive, and awake. Then, you meet with someone and find yourself covering your mouth so as not to expose a yawn.

You weren’t tired, and yet now you’re yawning.

3. You lack of creativity or inspiration.

Although some people will claim they're not, all of us are creative and insightful to some degree. In fact, coming up with ideas, insights, and good suggestions is one of the ways we feel like we’re contributing.


If you feel like you’ve lost interest, aren’t motivated to follow a conversation, and your mind is blank, other than maybe wanting to escape there are one or more energy vampires in the room — and they are close by.

4. You're selective of who you spend time with and for how long.

You have a variety of friends. Some you love to be with and can spend hours with and, even if you were physically active, always seemed to be more energized after your time together.

Other friends, you love to see and be with, but definitely for more limited amounts of time. After leaving, you may feel like a nap would be great.

5. Conversation is not easy.

You're having a discussion with someone, and find yourself taking more time to get clarity and making sure you are understood when you expand on an idea. Simply said, there are a lot of misunderstandings, from small to large.


You think you're being perfectly clear when you speak, but when checking in, discover the person either missed what you said or misunderstood you. They might be having the same challenges with you.

6. You don't find some things funny.

What this means is that many of the things you find humorous and make you giggle inside, the other person may not get. Or, they say something to you or share a story with you thinking it's funny, and you're amused but not at the story.

You find yourself thinking this person is indeed "funny" but in a strange sort of sense.

Some people are less energetically compatible — it's science. The six scenarios above make you feel like your energy has drained; it might be slight or could completely floor you.


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How can you tell if you are an energy vampire?

Prepare yourself because although the above are signs you've encountered an energy vampire, you may not realize that you are an energy vampire to them.

"What? That’s impossible!" you say. "I’m the one getting drained, not them!"

Yes, it may seem that way, but ultimately, both of you are taking an energetic hit. Sometimes, it might be more pronounced for one than the other and sometimes it is the same.

The reason is because you have two different genetically determined energetic frequencies. You literally vibrate differently and communicate differently. You listen and use words differently. You even write differently. You express emotions differently.


But, most importantly, the two frequencies repel each other. So, you feel like the energy has literally been sucked out of you.

The challenge is that some of these people are coworkers and business partners. Some are your besties, parents, siblings, children, or partners.

You may be intrigued by them, like them, love them, even be infatuated by them, and they will still impact your energy level. They are accurately one-half of all the people on this planet while you're the other half.

How to Protect Yourself from Energy Vampires

We are all energy vampires to someone at one time or another. Given that, obviously I’m not going to tell you to "slay them before they drain you." That would be cruel and also put you at odds with half the population. Worse, it would make you have a negative judgment of others.


If you need and desire love and connection, judgment is a sure way not to get it. Instead, embrace them. Honor that they are uniquely different from you.

Quality conversation is important and you literally speak two different languages. One is more direct and literal while the other is more figurative.

Both of you can be a bit assumptive. Take the very valuable time to check in with each other to make sure that your thoughts and ideas are being understood.

Be curious and explore deeper into the meaning behind their words or the emotions they are conveying. This brings joy and a sense of respect and recognition instead of exhaustion and rejection.


When you want to spend time with someone important to you, be time-efficient. Make sure you have plenty of rest first. If you need to spend more time with them and feel yourself getting drained, step away for a moment, give yourself some space, breath fresh air, get your energy back, and then return.

It's OK to not want to spend time with them, even if they're family or your committed romantic partner. When you're together, you can do so fully embracing that both of you are unique, different, and committed to quality time with each other.

If you choose not to, you can do it without guilt, shame or blame. Most importantly, you can entirely drop the belief that they are intentionally trying to suck the life out of you because, after all, there is no such thing as real vampires.

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Larry Michel is an author, speaker, producer, relationship coach, and the founder of the Institute of Genetic Energetics. He has worked for 40 years to deliver an understanding into our unique energetics. Visit his website for more information.