People Who Are Profoundly Insecure Often Say 11 Phrases On A Regular Basis
PeopleImages | Shutterstock Insecurity is one of the few personality traits that can turn a decent person into an insufferable one.
Everyone battles insecurities, but when someone's deeply insecure, they tend to use specific language. If you hear these phrases, you’re probably dealing with someone whose insecurities are eating them alive.
Insecure people often say these phrases in casual conversation:
1. ‘I already tried that, but it didn’t work’
Most insecure people hear a lot of advice from many different people. However, they don’t want to hear it. Their insecurities may prevent them from actually doing the work they need to do to improve their lives or careers.
Even the smallest setback will feel like a massive blow, so they put down anyone who suggests they do something to better their lives. As someone who dealt with extremely insecure people regularly, I noticed people often end up in a strange cycle of learned helplessness.
2. ‘You’re so brave to wear that’
Psychologists are quick to note that highly insecure people tend to be toxic to others, primarily because they often put others down to assuage their own insecurities. Unsurprisingly, this makes many extremely insecure people act like real-life trolls.
One study examining the reasons behind trolling found that insecure people are more likely to bully others. People who do this don’t do it just for fun; trolling actually makes them feel better about themselves. As they say, hurt people hurt people.
3. ‘I don’t really have an opinion; what do you think?’
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Did you ever meet someone who never seems to have their own opinion on anything? They wait until you say what you think, then agree. Or they seem to think about what you would want them to say rather than what they want to say. It’s unsettling, isn’t it?
That type of “chameleon” behavior generally stems from insecurity. Career expert Amy Gallo noted that people who avoid expressing firm opinions and making decisions tend to do so out of insecurity. In other words, they lack confidence in their decisions.
In the workplace, insecure people often avoid taking responsibility or voicing their opinions for fear it may reflect poorly on them in their boss's eyes. In relationships, insecure people try to become chameleons because they fear no one will like them if they say what they’re really thinking.
4. ‘I don’t know if I have time for that’
Do you remember the thriller series, Baby Reindeer? In it, a woman becomes a man’s stalker and admits she was incredibly insecure. Throughout the film, the woman’s insecurities subtly peek through. One of the first things that illustrates it was her claiming she was so busy as a lawyer while she hung out at a bar all day.
This is actually fairly common. Insecure people act like they’re short on time because they want to appear in demand, even when they’re not.
5. ‘I’m so awful at this’
To no one’s surprise, people who talk about themselves poorly generally aren’t very secure. Wellness Elizabeth Scott, Ph.D., notes that negative self-talk can often lead to insecure behavior, even if you were fairly secure earlier on.
It’s also worth noting that many narcissists will talk about themselves negatively when they are trying to manipulate someone. Either way, it’s not a good look.
6. ‘You’re wrong; I did this correctly’
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A good marker of an insecure person at work is when they refuse, absolutely refuse, to admit they’re wrong. Insecure people generally can’t stand being called out for errors or criticized. It sends them into a panic.
If you are in an office with someone who does this, avoid coming at them too strongly. Experts say reframing it as a simple mistake and phrasing it as an opinion can work wonders for keeping the peace.
7. ‘It's not that bad, is it?’
When you’re insecure, you just want to hear that you’re doing well. You need that validation even when there are no signs anything is wrong. This is why one of the most common signs of an insecure person is regularly asking for reassurance.
Sometimes, this can be a sign of trauma. However, it often just means that they’re deeply insecure. Reassurance cannot fix serious, deep-seated insecurities, but it can help.
8. ‘This watch I'm wearing is pretty expensive’
Have you ever noticed how common it is to see people who feel insecure about themselves bolster their confidence with a shopping spree or a status-symbol item? Folks don’t call it retail therapy for nothing!
Status symbols appeal to insecure people because they're meant to show your status. A man like Warren Buffett doesn’t care whether he’s driving a Ferrari. He knows he’s wealthy. The insecure finance guy, on the other hand, will care if he’s driving a fancy car. He wants to show others that he can afford it.
9. ‘I’m pretty sure they don’t like me’
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While this technically falls into the category of negative self-talk, it’s a particular flavor that’s worth discussing. Insecure people don’t believe people like them, often because they tend to hate themselves.
For the deeply insecure, it’s never a question of whether someone likes them. The answer is usually no. They may bring it up jokingly or just be blunt about it. Either way, they often will let you know they know how others feel about them.
10. ‘Man, I really need to hit the gym’
Let’s talk about another common sign of insecurity: openly admitting that you don’t like the way you look. Everyone has those moments when we look at our bellies or hair and think about how it could be improved.
For insecure people, those thoughts happen much more often. They might also loudly proclaim it, hoping to fish for a compliment.
11. ‘You’re cheating on me, aren’t you?’
Along with assuming others dislike them, insecure individuals tend to assume the worst about the people around them. If they just got hired, they'll assume they’ll be fired soon after. If you’re dating them, insecure people will assume you’ll cheat on them.
Insecure people will project onto others until the cows come home. At times, their projections can turn into emotional abuse. No one likes being accused of things they didn’t do, and no one likes constantly reassuring an insecure person. That’s why many people tend to avoid dating insecure people. It’s a risky move, depending on how those individuals handle their feelings.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
