People With Low Mental & Emotional Independence Usually Say 8 Phrases In Small Talk Conversations
Raushan_films | Shutterstock A lack of mental and emotional independence can be linked to failure-to-launch syndrome. Self-confidence never fully developed in childhood, and they relied on their parents for everything. As adults, they depend on others for help with every decision
Sometimes, people with low mental and emotional independence become self-critical, and it surfaces in the language they use when making small talk. Instead of taking risks for themselves, they’ll follow along with the pack. It can lead to constant self-doubt and reliance on others to lead the way.
Phrases people say who struggle with mental and emotional independence:
1. ‘What do you think I should do?’
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Motivation to change has to come from within yourself. Without emotional independence, someone may rely on other people for everything. From how they handle certain situations to what they want to eat for lunch, they want reassurance from people around them. Casual conversations about any everyday topic can turn into an advice session the other person didn’t sign up for.
Acting on what you want is important. Otherwise, you may feel let down and upset. However, when someone has a hard time trusting their gut, they can default to seeking advice from anyone who will listen.
2. ‘Can you help me figure this out?’
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I love being there for my friends, but sometimes people I don’t have nearly as strong a relationship with will turn to me for help. It’s a compliment for sure, but it puts unnecessary pressure on my shoulders, especially if the conversation started small. Something simple turns into hashing out their problems.
If someone struggles with independence, they might expect and take too much from the people in their lives. All they want is validation and help, but sometimes people can’t provide it. They need to dig deep in these moments, but it’s easier said than done.
3. ‘I’ll do whatever you want’
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People without independence are often people-pleasers. They may do so unknowingly, but because they lack confidence, they’ll go along with everyone else. It often helps them feel more comfortable in social situations. They want someone else to guide them and make the decisions. Even if they don’t exactly want to do what they’re suggesting, it’s easier to say yes.
Someone without independence may fear people will abandon them. Since they rely on others for so much, going along with them seems like the best way to keep them in their lives. Even if they just met them and are having small talk, they likely want to please that person.
4. ‘I don’t think they’d approve of that’
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People without independence may play around with the idea of thinking for themselves. Maybe an idea strikes them, or they are considering making a big change in their lives. Talking this over with someone else may encourage them to make a change they weren’t ready to. However, when they think it through, they may fear they’d let other people down in the process.
If someone suggests something they know the people in their lives rely on might not like, it can be overwhelming. They may want to try it, but at the end of the day, they need the people that they follow to approve of their every move. This type of person constantly seeks approval.
5. ‘Am I overreacting?’
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It’s not uncommon for people to struggle with their confidence when they lack the independence to think for themselves. They might believe they’re overreacting or handling situations poorly compared to what others expect. This can lead to unhealthy relationship patterns, where they think they have to check in with others to validate their feelings.
The truth is, we all overreact sometimes. It comes from emotional pain. If someone isn’t comfortable talking about these things, or relies on others to tell them how to perceive them, it can stifle their true feelings.
6. ‘I’ll just do what everyone else is’
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A lack of independence can leave someone struggling to make decisions. It’s human nature to follow along with the crowd. We want to fit in with the people around us. However, having independence helps us discern what is worth our effort and what isn’t. Not every trend is worth following. In fact, some can be harmful.
Without mental and emotional independence, someone may lack the confidence to follow their heart. They lack trust in themselves because they have depended on other people for so long. It can be difficult to let go of that mentality.
7. ‘I’m not sure what I want’
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Indecision can be a sign of anxiety. They might struggle to commit to a decision because they have a hard time trusting themselves. It can lead them to seek advice from everyone else around them. Coming to a conclusion can feel permanent, which can be overwhelming for anyone, especially someone who relies on the approval and support of others. Instead, they may freeze. Telling someone what they want can feel impossible.
This can show in the little things, like what coffee they order when meeting up for small talk, and big decisions like their career choice. They don’t feel comfortable paving their own way and crave validation.
8. ‘Don’t be upset with me’
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People with low mental and emotional independence don’t want to upset the people around them. If they feel like they’re letting someone else down, they may backtrack. Depending on how they feel about them, it can turn into a long apology, even if they’re just having simple small talk.
Putting other people’s feelings above their own is natural for someone like this. They may lack the self-esteem to think for themselves, and when they do, they might feel like they have to apologize the second something seems a little off.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
