People Who Seem To Get The Short End Of The Stick Usually Say 6 Phrases To Anyone Who'll Listen
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock We've all met someone who says they were born under an unlucky star or that they have the worst luck. Whatever their reason may be, they believe that they always get the short end of the stick.
This negative attitude may seem funny at first, but after a while, certain phrases and complaints start to drain the people nearby. The overall belief in their bad luck may even attract more negativity in the end.
7 phrases often said by people who always seem to get the short end of the stick:
1. "Of course this would happen to me"
Bear with me on this, it's a little woo-ey, but we perceive the world however we want to. That doesn't mean we make up reality, but we subconsciously pick and choose what to pay attention to.
If we believe that good things tend to happen to us, then that’s what we choose to look at and we avoid the rest. If we believe that bad things will happen, then that’s how we interpret everything.
And yes, there is science behind this. So when someone says something like "of course bad luck is hitting me yet again!" they're right. It is. But good luck is happening, too, you're just ignoring it.
2. "I do everything for everyone, and nobody does kind things for me"
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Although there is a good possibility that someone just has bad friends, it might be that their friends are normal and they're just stuck in a cycle of over-giving and being someone nobody is willing to (or is able to) give things to. People who feel like they always get the short end of the stick probably do have friends and family that do good things for them. They don’t notice it because they are trained not to.
“Our brains are wired to recognize patterns and develop them,” states psychologist Susan Albers-Bowling. “We like it when we can see a cause and effect — even if it isn’t real.”
Soon enough, the negativity does become a real cause and effect, because the negativity pushes others away except those who will take endlessly from others without giving back.
3. "It’s just my luck”
Sometimes it’s easier just to accept our fate instead of rewriting a new story for ourselves. Instead of realizing that everybody goes through break-ups or is late to work or gets sick every once of a while, people who believe they always get the short end of the stick will tell anyone they know that it’s just their luck.
When we think this, it’s important to make a conscious effort to stop that thought and reframe it. Instead of believing it’s just your luck, try to reframe it as “this happens to everybody" and "I'm ready to start seeing the good in my life now".
4. "Why even try?”
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This one is just a trap, a self-fulfilling prophecy that dooms people who aren't self-aware enough to catch it early.
A self-fulfilling prophecy is when you believe something so much, it actually happens. It sounds crazy, but there is science to back it up. Basically, if you believe something bad is going to happen, then your behaviors change to align with that belief, sometimes unconsciously.
So, if you believe that you are unlucky, then you’re not going to try new things or be open to opportunities because you believe you are automatically going to fail.
5. "Why does stuff like this always happen to me?"
This is another example of the self-fulfilling prophecy.
The thing is, it’s important to be careful with your words. If you are constantly complaining to somebody about your bad luck, they probably are not going to want to spend time with you. Not even in a rude way, but there’s no fun in hanging out with people who just believe that everybody and everything is out to get them. And it’s also annoying when you have to play therapist for a friend all the time.
6. "People are constantly taking advantage of my kindness"
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It’s important to stick up for yourself. However, people who always get the short end of the stick believe that people are taking advantage of them even when they’re not. Sometimes people make mistakes, and that's normal. Other times, you didn't set your boundaries strong enough for them to know what you're willing to accept.
Also, sometimes people make jokes that these "woe is me" negative people take too literally. I get it because I've been there! As the youngest sibling, I am so used to being made fun of that most jokes or comments don’t even affect me. Therefore, when somebody actually does take advantage of me (as opposed to just trying to be funny), I am aware of it.
This seems silly, but it's actually important. If you assume people will take advantage of you or be unkind, then even when they're being light-hearted you'll see it as yet another bad thing someone did to you. And that's not silly at all.
Sophie Bagheri is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and theatre. She works as a writer at YourTango abd covers lifestyle topics.
