People Who Can Talk Anyone Into Anything Often Use 6 Sly Phrases To Get What They Want
rafaalem | Pexels Many of us like to think we're good people and don't engage in actions that may hurt others, but that may not always be the case. Sometimes, humans can be manipulative without realizing it. To avoid being an unintentional manipulator or being manipulated by someone you trust, there are signs to watch out for, specifically in how people speak.
Often confused with persuasion, the main difference between the two is intent. People who can talk anyone into anything often use persuasion, which is almost always rooted in reason, whereas manipulation is rooted in self-doubt. That's why it's best to notice the signs before the emotional toll of manipulation can influence how a person thinks and feels.
People who can talk anyone into anything often casually use these phrases:
1. 'I never said that'
If someone constantly changes what another person said, that's manipulation. People who can talk anyone into anything often don't stick to the facts when explaining what happened, such as what they were doing or where they were. They will change parts of someone else's story to match the narrative they're trying to sell, and leave out anything that doesn't serve them.
If a person deflects whenever someone attempts to hold them accountable or notices an inconsistency in their story, that's manipulation, whether or not they want to admit it.
2. 'If you really cared about me, you'd do this for me'
By using phrases like this, people who can talk anyone into anything make others feel bad about their own actions so that they're able to carry on with whatever they had planned. They'll make someone feel guilty for how they're behaving so that person backs down and gives them their way.
According to Psychology Today, when people use guilt as a means to get what they want, they're engaging in emotional blackmail, which can disrupt relationships and damage others' self-esteem. What's important to note, however, is that not all guilt is created equal, and authentic guilt is vastly different from the guilt caused by manipulation.
Valorie Burton, positive psychology coach and author, told WebMD, “Authentic guilt is an inner compass. When we use it wisely, it helps us make choices we won’t regret later.” She went on to differentiate that the guilt trip used in manipulation does not serve us, adding, “Unlike authentic guilt, false guilt is the feeling you’ve done something wrong even though you haven’t actually done something wrong.”
3. 'Well, remember when you...'
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This is just one example of exploiting someone's weakness. It's one thing to be aware of another person's insecurities and weaknesses, but leveraging them against others is extremely manipulative. People who can talk anyone into anything take advantage of what they know someone is sensitive about just so that they can have their way.
4. 'I only acted this way because of what you did to me'
People who can talk anyone into anything and absolve themselves of responsibility have a victim mentality. A victim mentality is one in which someone believes they have no control over their life and any misfortune or trouble is caused by others or outside forces.
According to WebMD, one of the best ways to combat a victim mentality is to take responsibility and own their behavior. Another way is to practice self-care since a victim mentality is often a result of attempting to deal with past trauma.
5. 'Wow, I really like your...'
A sincere compliment is a lovely gift; unfortunately, not all praise comes from a place of honest appreciation. Kissing up is very different from a genuine compliment.
They're not complimenting someone because they genuinely want to; they're doing it to get something in return. The real red flag in this scenario is after the person who can talk anyone into anything gets what they want. Often, the compliments and praise get pulled away and can leave the other person with inklings of self-doubt.
6. 'Are you sure?'
Confusing others to make them doubt themselves is a form of manipulation because it purposefully chips away at someone's certainty, creating room to push an agenda onto them. Vague language and mixed messages are common tools for people who can talk anyone into anything. The doubt this creates is often referred to as gaslighting, which leaves the person on the receiving end unable to rely on their own version of the truth.
The more doubt a manipulator can cause, the more control they can exert. As Medical News Today noted, "It works by breaking down a person’s trust in themselves while increasing how much they trust or depend on the abusive person."
Sahlah Syeda is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.
