People With High Emotional & Intellectual IQ Are Too Smart To Waste Time On 11 Lazy Things
PeopleImages | Shutterstock Smart people try not to waste it on emotionally draining or pointless things. While this might sound callous, it's actually what makes them so successful.
They channel their superior brain power into hard work, growing into the best versions of themselves and using their high intellectual and emotional intelligence to be better leaders and more successful people overall. To do that, they avoid some of the laziest emotional traps.
11 things people with high emotional and intellectual IQ won't waste time on:
1. Complaining about problems instead of solving them
Attitude is everything in life, which is why people who are truly self-aware never waste their time complaining. They’re highly attuned to their emotions. They’re experts at expressing how they feel, but they also know that being excessively negative serves no real purpose.
While we need to be able to talk about our problems and struggles, complaining is different. Venting and whining just reinforce how badly you feel, without solving any of your problems.
People who have high EQ are just too smart to waste their time focusing on disappointments when they could be solving problems and changing their circumstances.
2. Worrying about things that are out of their control
Some people spend their whole lives worrying about the future, which keeps them from being present in the lives they're already living. Intelligent people do their best to focus on problems they can solve rather than things they can't control.
With so many variables and potential possibilities, emotionally intelligent people know that they can’t predict what will happen, no matter how much time they spend thinking about it. Instead, they acknowledge anxiety and worries and look at what can actually be managed and focus on that.
Smart people understand that future-tripping is pointless, because it creates a false sense of security. They know how to sit with uncertainty, because not knowing is part of being human.
3. Chasing perfection at the expense of progress
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People who are truly self-aware know that perfection isn't only the enemy of progress, it’s almost always a myth. And why would an intelligent somewhere that’s impossible to reach? Instead, they set goals and work hard to achieve them, but they don’t delude themselves into thinking they have to be perfect.
See, people who are emotionally intelligent and intellectual enough to see their progress objectively are willing to accept mistakes as part of the process. Messing up while working hard is actually a huge factor in how you grow and create success. So, no, high IQ and EQ people aren't wasting their time chasing perfection.
4. Saying ‘yes’ to things when their gut says 'no'
Emotionally intelligent people are masters of knowing how to meet their own needs. They know that setting clear boundaries is the key to effective time management, which is why they don’t waste their time saying yes every time someone else asks them to do something.
If you’re always bending over backwards to meet other people’s needs, you’ll never have time for yourself. Worse, you might feel like you've betrayed yourself for not listening to your gut or your own good sense. Is it easy to say no, especially to people you care about? Absolutely not. But setting boundaries and following your instincts (combined with your values) pays off.
5. Mindless scrolling and arguing with people online
Intelligent people make technology work for them, not the other way around. They don’t waste time on mindless scrolling just because it’s the easiest way to unwind. They understand that scrolling for scrolling’s sake is only a short-term distraction, and one that doesn’t actually make them feel any better.
They also won't waste time fighting with people online, especially any account that could be fake or a troll. Will they sometimes try to offer an alternative opinion on social media? Sure, but they're not going to fall for a back-and-forth that takes up even a small portion of their day.
Instead, these people spend their free time focused on true self-care. They put their phones down and go touch grass, literally. They spend as much time as possible outside, because they know that fresh air and sunshine are good for the mind, body, and soul.
6. Holding petty grudges
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Holding a grudge is a sign of unresolved anger, and it’s not an effective way to handle hard feelings. All a grudge does is keep people stuck in the past, feeling miserable yet justified in their self-righteousness.
That doesn't mean smart people are saints who go around forgiving everyone who hurt them. That would be a huge waste of their time, especially when that person isn't even sorry. But those petty grievances? High IQ people let them go.
Emotionally intelligent people know that holding grudges doesn’t serve them in the long run, which is why they choose to release their discontent and move on with their lives. If the heartbreak or wound is significant, they do the inner work in order to find peace and reclaim the fire inside of themselves, even if it's a challenge.
7. Thinking they can change someone else
Expecting people to change before they’re ready is something people who are truly self-aware never waste their time on. They’re smart enough to accept one of life’s harder truths: people only change because they want to, not because you want them to. By meeting other people exactly where they’re at, these individuals protect their hearts from constant disappointment.
According to Psychologist Robb Rutledge, managing expectations is the best way to manage your mood. “Expectations are really important for happiness,” he revealed.
If you have high expectations for someone you love to show up for you, but they’ve only been unreliable in the past, it will hurt more than if you had managed your expectations. But swinging to the opposite side of the spectrum and having low expectations isn’t healthy, either.
“If you have low expectations all of the time, you may not be motivated to try new things or take risks, because you don’t expect things to go well,” Rutledge explained. “It’s hard to grow as a person if you avoid any uncertain situation.”
8. Trying to control people’s emotions or behavior
Smart people know they can’t control how anyone else feels, so they don’t waste their time trying to play puppet master on other human beings. They understand that all they can control are their own choices and reactions.
Somteims trying to guide or control another person’s feelings might be well-intentioned, but it never actually works. In fact, when someone is struggling and making bad choices, sometimes the engagement can become enabling, which is bad for you and bad for the other person.
Emotionally intelligent people also know that manipulation is deeply unethical. No matter how one may justify it, trying to get someone to do something by being sneaky is unkind and not in line with how self-aware people choose to live.
9. Thinking they’re always right
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If there’s one thing that separates intelligent people from everyone else, it’s their ability to admit when they’re wrong. This doesn't mean they are passive and insecure, always ceding the point to other people. It just means they're not so egotistical to belive they’re always right.
They've learned enough in life to know that there's always more to learn, which is the foundation of the Dunning-Kruger Effect. They also know that different people bring different experiences and perspectives into any situation, and that can change perceptions in ways that aren't objectively right or wrong.
They know that trying to argue with someone's unique perspective is just a waste of time and are emotionally intelligent enough to know that shared understanding is a much better goal, one they're more likely to learn from (and way more productive in the end).
10. Ignoring their feelings
People who are truly self-aware don’t waste time ignoring their feelings, because they know that it will only make their pain last longer.
It sounds counterintuitive, but accepting hard feelings is the only way to move through them. They let themselves feel. They have the psychological skillset to assess their feelings and assign a name to them. These individuals don’t just take an intellectual approach to their emotions, they also feel their feelings in a more physical way.
11. Liking people who don’t like them back
One of life’s more painful truths is that no matter how much you like someone, you can’t make them feel the same way about you. Your mom probably told you this in 4th grade, but it's a lesson that stays with intelligent people for a lifetime for a reason.
Yes, they understand that love is infinite, but time is finite. They know that life is too short to waste time waiting for someone to return their attention.
They have a solid sense of self-worth, which means they don’t need other people’s approval to feel good about themselves. More than that, intelligent people have self-love. They like who they are. If someone doesn’t appreciate them, they have no problem moving on.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.
