People Who Are Brilliant At Setting Boundaries Often Use 9 Phrases When Someone’s Drama Gets Exhausting
imorarash | Shutterstock At some point in life, everyone has had an awkward or tense conversation that's also highly dramatic. Conversations like these are difficult to avoid, but it's essential to shut them down to maintain your mental health — and sometimes, telling people the truth is the only way to do so, even when it's awkward. When someone's drama becomes too much, brilliant people use certain phrases to politely say, "your drama is exhausting."
Brilliant people who set boundaries use these phrases casually with dramatic people:
1. 'I think we should focus on something else'
Antonio Guillem | Shutterstock
Dramatic people love to get into others' heads and manipulate situations in their favor by exaggerating or leaving out parts of the story. To avoid getting caught in the crossfire, it's better to redirect the situation by using this phrase.
Not only is drama annoying and stressful in most cases, but a study published in EXCLI Journal also shows that stress can decrease brain mass and cause structural changes in different parts of the brain. It's better to protect your mental health by simply shutting down overly dramatic conversations that have dragged on for too long. It might hurt the other person's feelings, but switching the focus can de-escalate the situation and make the conversation more lighthearted.
2. 'I need time to process everything you just shared'
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock
According to psychotherapist Antonieta Contreras, people who love to start drama tend to seek out peacemakers with poor boundaries. "Because the peace-loving person will apologize first, often just to quell the tension, the drama-maker sees their victimhood validated. In turn, this reinforces the dramatic cycle, giving the aggressor exactly the attention and power they crave while leaving the conflict-avoidant person feeling increasingly responsible for everyone else's emotional equilibrium," Contreras explained.
When someone finds themselves in a perplexing situation, whether it's people piling on childhood trauma or casually dropping a bombshell, they need extra time to recover. Using the phrase "I need time to process everything you just shared" is a good way to let the dramatic person in your life know.
3. 'For now, let's take a step back from this conversation'
simona pilolla 2 | Shutterstock
When a dramatic conversation becomes overwhelming, a brilliant person will ask to step back so they can evaluate their next move. Nobody wants to be the person who rudely cuts someone off or is seen as selfish because they can't handle tough conversations. But asking for a short break is a great way to set firm boundaries with an overly dramatic person.
4. 'This is a bit much for me to take in right now'
Anatoliy Karlyuk | Shutterstock
Everyone has a dramatic person in their life who overshares. Maybe they wear their heart on their sleeve and aren't afraid to discuss their crumbling relationships or family drama. On the outside, they may consider it a bonding moment, but oversharing or trauma dumping is a good way to push someone away.
In cases like this, this phrase lets the person know you're overwhelmed by the topic. While cutting the other person off can be a bit offensive, there's a polite way to voice concerns. Politely ending the conversation might mean saying something like, "I truly want to hear what you have to say, but this is a bit much for me to take in at the moment."
5. 'Let's take a quick breather'
fizkes | Shutterstock
Depending on how huge the drama is, a person with boundaries may suggest taking a breather together. That might mean deep breathing, going for a walk, meditating, or having a snack. Whatever it is, a quick break can de-escalate the situation and calm both parties.
According to experts at NSW Health, when someone is angry, you can de-escalate tension by staying calm and showing empathy. Politely suggesting different ways to unwind can be the difference between continuing a toxic conversation and a constructive one. But the only way to get there is by keeping the conversation on track. It might be intimidating, but suggesting a time-out is never a bad idea when things get tense.
6. 'I think we're going in circles here'
fizkes | Shutterstock
In hard conversations, it can sometimes feel like neither person understands the other, and frustration builds. When that happens, use this phrase to point out that both parties are going in circles. It might seem rude or too direct on the surface, but the only way to get through to a dramatic person is by reeling them back in. That might mean pointing them in the right direction or revisiting the conversation later, when it can be more productive. It not only saves time and energy, but also helps both parties get out of a negative headspace.
7. 'Well, let's just see what happens'
Pheelings media | Shutterstock
There's nothing more frustrating than feeling powerless. People want to feel in control of their lives and become anxious when their carefully planned life doesn't go their way. But people need to be reminded to let things go.
People who try to control outcomes by obsessing over the situation are doomed to fail. According to licensed psychotherapist Sharon Martin, this behavior is often a result of fear and anxiety. "When things feel out of control, it's natural to want to control them in order to feel safe. But of course, we can't control other people and situations. So our efforts don't ultimately make us feel better. In fact, controlling behaviors usually create problems in our relationships and make us feel frustrated and stressed out," she explains.
Martin added that this behavior can create perfectionist tendencies, which can destroy healthy relationships. So, giving another person a kind reminder can sometimes help alleviate their stress. Additionally, telling them they can't control everything may put them at ease.
8. 'There's nothing more I can say about this'
fizkes | Shutterstock
It can be exhausting when someone keeps trying to convince another person of something. What begins as a normal conversation can turn into a therapy session, which can feel exhausting for someone who isn't equipped to handle it. According to psychotherapist Ilene Strauss Cohen, PhD, it's easy to get caught up in other people's drama. "To break the pattern, it's important to first shift your perspective and pay attention to what you'll be gaining by not getting involved," she recommended, adding that people can be less involved in drama by stepping back.
When a person says, "There's nothing more I can say about this," they're verbally expressing their boundaries and emotional threshold, and letting the other person know their drama is exhausting. If they truly have nothing left to give in the conversation, they should say it. It will save emotional battery and cut the conversation short when needed.
9. 'I'm going to need to tap out of this conversation'
Branislav Nenin | Shutterstock
This phrase might feel unfair to the other person; after all, calling it quits in the middle of a conversation is a bit off-putting. But when a conversation becomes increasingly unhinged, it's true that you can't help anyone if you can't even help yourself. As philosopher Susanna Newsonen wisely put it, "Yes, you can still be kind, show compassion and help others out, but only if it's not at the expense of your own compassion."
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
