One Year Into Retirement: What Went Better (And So Much Worse) Than Expected
Milan Markovic | Canva It still seems like yesterday that I hung up from my final Zoom call with the team. I was free, liberated, unencumbered, bursting with wide-eyed schoolboy excitement.
It wasn’t like the feeling you get when you leave for vacation — when work always lingers like a rash. It wasn’t even like those rare times when you have a week or two between jobs when you literally can’t work. This was different. It was the real deal, the whole magilla, no turning back and no more toiling in the quicksand. Ever.
That was exactly a year ago. I can honestly report that retirement is amazing. It’s amazing at least in part because I prepared for it. Unless the economy vaporizes in a flash of ideocracy, I won’t ever work for money again.
That’s not to say I wouldn’t prefer more money, but I live comfortably, and the tradeoff of total freedom for modest austerity is worth it. In fact, I probably should have retired sooner. Freedom is far more valuable than I thought.
One year into retirement, here's what went better and so much worse than I expected:
Time
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Time feels different in retirement than when working. I don’t know how I got everything done when I was working; I can’t even do it now when I’m retired.
To start with, there’s not enough time in the day. The first months were a spinning blur. I exhausted myself with hiking, biking, writing, home improvements, and yard work. Ten seconds after lying down each night, I’d be out hard, drooling on my pillow.
It’s getting better now, but I am still terrified of growing old before I can do everything I want to. I feel like idleness is a sign of weakness, and that drives me harder than you can imagine — and I don’t think it’s healthy. I need to recognize that it’s impossible to do everything, and coming to terms with that fact is critical for my future.
“Don’t make any recurring time commitments in the first year.”
— Wise old cousin George
One thing I did do right was to listen to some excellent advice about commitments from an expert retiree, my cousin George. I refused to sign up for any recurring time-defined commitments. Spontaneity has ruled my days, and that is what makes retirement life so special — and so wonderfully different.
Last-minute midweek concert tickets, a night out with the boys (who never plan ahead), kayaking, boat trips, dinners, overnights, visitors — these are the spontaneous events that I couldn’t do when I worked and that I find such joy in now.
And family. I’m fortunate to have them nearby, and I visit kids, mom, brother, and in-laws often. That’s something I’ll always make time for.
Expenses
We’re spending about 10% more than I predicted, but that’s not unusual in the honeymoon phase of retirement, particularly in a new town and a new house. This “honeymoon phase” is the first few years of retirement when one is traveling and active and spending more energy and dollars because of the excitement of a new life. When life stabilizes in a couple of years, I expect expenditures to drop and stabilize.
One thing I’ve learned is that every home improvement project takes longer and costs more than planned. You’d think I’d know that from decades of project management, but I guess I’ll never learn. I budgeted some extra money in the first two years to upgrade the tired old house we bought, but even by doing most everything myself, I’m still a fair bit over budget.
Fixed expenses are just as I expected (mortgage, utilities, taxes). Variable expenses like dining out, auto, travel, medical, and food are also pretty close to what they were when working. Clothing and automotive costs are much lower. No commute and wearing mostly T-shirts save a lot of money.
The biggest miss (other than home improvement) was a category I call “personal.” It’s a generic category where I put all my miscellaneous costs like coffee, movies, concerts, hobbies, grooming, knick-knacks, and other non-essentials like wine. It’s almost double what I expected. Too many hobbies? Too much wine? I’m afraid to drill down too deep; I might not like what I find.
I’m sure it’s just a honeymoon thing that’ll settle down later.
Health
I’m physical most days but not “exercising” as I would in a gym. Walking, hiking, and riding my bike should hopefully keep my cardiovascular system and muscle tone in decent shape. My mind thinks I’m 30 years old, but I’m not. It tells me to do things that I can’t do anymore, and when I try them, I regret it. Running, jumping, lifting — my strength and endurance have taken a hit.
In a cruel twist of fate, I’m starting to recognize my age. When I was working, I don’t remember dwelling on aches and pains, but now I notice them more. They seem more frequent and last longer. I’m getting cramps and back aches, strange problems with joints, skin issues, and even some internal nasties that I’ll keep to myself. Nothing serious, thankfully, but annoying to my 30-year-old skydiving and soccer-playing mind.
Volunteering — a babysitting surprise
We have no grandchildren yet, and we’re in no hurry for our kids to make any. But like lots of people our age, we have an interest in caring for the little ones. So, two months ago, to quench our grandparental urges, my wife and I signed up to babysit a northern elephant seal that was molting on a local beach. These solitary, cute, and elephant-sized creatures live 80% of their lives in the water and only come ashore to mate, birth, and molt.
Elsie Mae, a little 1,000-pound female (males weigh 4,000 pounds), “hauled out” of the sea like she does every year in May to molt. For six weeks she hung out on the beach while her old skin fell off. As you can imagine, she attracted a lot of interest, which isn’t good for her or for passers-by who may want to approach her.
Our job was to educate the public and protect our little darling from stupid people. Dozens of volunteers like us took turns watching her. It was a few weeks of fascination and education for us. I’m looking forward to next year.
What we did was good for Elsie Mae, but it was also surprisingly great for me. Volunteering isn’t something I do often, and this simple act turned into a terrific opportunity to meet others and interact with people I wouldn’t normally run into.
I’m not normally an outgoing person, but this was a social extravaganza. We have new friends in the neighborhood now, and I plan to volunteer more (if I can find the time).
Family
Our parents are aging, and that takes more and more of my time. As they grow older, it’s normal for people to be challenged with life activities such as yard work, shopping, finances, and computers. So I help out a bit, and I’ll enjoy every minute of it for as long as they’ll let me.
Our two daughters are off in their own worlds that don’t involve us as much as they used to. I can’t express (without tearing up) how proud I am of my kids. They’re adults now, independent and successful. And they don’t need me so much anymore unless their car needs work, or they need financial advice. Those, and a hug and some encouragement once in a while. Oh, and they hardly borrow money anymore. Good for them.
Failures and near misses
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I miss the problem-solving camaraderie of work. My problems are small now and don’t require a lot of deep thought and debate that I loved. YouTube videos and internet searches have replaced my co-workers, and mistakes cost hundreds of dollars now, not millions.
Reading is something I need to do more. I used to love it and voraciously consume books. There’s an easy solution, of course, but for some reason I can’t implement it. I’d rather write than read.
I spend too much time writing. So much sometimes that it’s almost like a job. Some days I feel like it is, and the self-imposed pressure reminds me of pre-retirement.
If these trivial shortcomings are the worst part of my life, I’m ashamed to even mention them. I have a friend with lymphoma, another with mental health issues, and several with newly installed replacement parts. There but for the grace of God go I.
Future
We hired an estate attorney to prepare our wills and directives, so that’s one unpleasant task that’s out of the way. I tried to do it online myself, but it was a joke. The total cost was about $1,000, and the peace of mind was well worth it. If you haven’t done this, please consider it soon.
The current recession bothers me a bit. I’m watching our expenses closely and will tighten the belt if I need to. About 65% of our expenses are variable and can be lowered if needed. The other 35% is fixed (like property taxes) and would be extremely difficult to alter.
I know one day my health, time, and money will dwindle and life will grow increasingly challenging. I wonder when that will be and how it will feel? It will certainly curtail some of the fantastic experiences I’m having right now and leave me more time with less to do. Maybe that’s when I’ll start reading more.
I hereby declare my first year of retirement to be an unmitigated success. So much so that I’m confident the future will continue to be wonderful. Time, money, and health are my three biggest concerns, but right now I don’t worry much about anything.
Looking back, the most valuable thing I did was plan. I planned what my expenses would be and roughly what I’d be doing with my newfound free time. I “practiced” retirement by visualizing myself as a retiree, and when the time came, it was a comfortable transition.
Retirement is awesome. You should give it a try (after you do some planning).
Brian Feutz is a writer, author, columnist, and podcast speaker who covers topics including retirement, humor, travel, tech, adventure, and fiction.
