The Most Confident People Never Indulge In These 10 Bad Habits
Banish self-doubt once and for all.
Mikhail Konetski | Canva Over many years, I learned to befriend doubt. Wait, what? Why? When I start entertaining thoughts about how I may not be good enough or that others are better than me, I know I need to adjust. Here’s what I stopped doing.
The most confident people never indulge in these 10 bad habits:
1. Having a slouchy posture
Our physiology (our bodies) contributes more to our thinking than we believe. If we go around like we were just told our pet goldfish died and slouch around all day, our thinking begins to slip. We can break the cycle by adjusting our posture, no matter how bad we feel.
2. Failing to address the ‘superficial’
Seemingly mundane and ‘vain’ things like cutting your toenails or ironing your creased shirt aren’t a frivolous luxury. They’re primary. How you look strongly influences not only how you feel but also how you think about yourself. Doubt will constantly bark at the doorstep of someone who dresses like a slob 24/7.
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3. Allowing for too many options
When there are no limits on what we can do, we begin to wander. Our minds turn inward, and we become self-conscious. We are lost and don’t know what to do with ourselves. This is what happens in the absence of a mission. What one thing will you commit yourself to over the next thirty days? That’s all it takes to bring some order and excitement into your life. Make it a game. Have a mission.
4. Thinking you need to feel ready
One of the most immediate antidotes to self-doubt is taking action. It’s a cliché because it’s so true. A lack of motion is a fertile breeding ground for doubtful thoughts. So you must act, but you can’t act if you think you need to feel ready. You don’t. Stop looking for ‘self-belief’ or ‘confidence’ or any other made-up crap. You just need to focus on the next small step.
5. Avoiding eye contact
I know it’s hard when you’ve been glued to a screen all day like your life depended on it. But you’re not a glow worm. Talking to people and looking them in the eye feels icky and scary. So what? Take small steps. Practice on your grandma. Start to adopt the approach of a winner — a winner who looks you in the eye.
6. Complaining constantly
What you speak into existence brings more of it into existence. The universe doesn’t care what you say — it will reinforce it and say, "Your wish is my command, bro." Complain less, and you will be shocked at how things will start going right for you.
7. Believing all of your thoughts
Your thoughts are nothing more than suggestions put forward by your mind. Some thoughts are pleasant, and others make you feel like microwaved cat turd. You must let go of the idea that whatever nonsense your anxious mind spits out is in some way truthful. It’s not. It’s an illusion. Break free of doubtful thoughts by rekindling your inner ninja, turning away from the thought, and returning to the cool real-life thing in front of you.
8. Blaming other people for your problems
Blaming other people for your ills might feel empowering in the moment, but that crap is silently turning you into a husk. It reinforces your weak, victim-driven identity. Reverse this trend by taking responsibility for everything — both good and bad — that you’ve so far attracted into your life.
9. Optimizing for comfort
Life lacks an edge if we’re always seeking comfort. We get listless when we go too long without some challenge, and that’s when doubt appears. This doesn’t mean waiting for a lightning storm to run out naked. You can create a challenge for yourself. Go on an adventure. Book something new in the calendar.
10. Guilting yourself into avoiding stuff you want to do
Do more of what you want, but do it with awareness. If we’re conscious, we don’t go out and stuff our faces with doughnuts just because we want to. We do what we want because we know what’s good for us. If you feel like taking a long walk at five in the afternoon, do it. If you want to skip a day of work, do that. Doubt emerges when we don’t listen to our needs. Listen to your body, not your judgemental and high-pressure thoughts. Give yourself that gift. Your gut knows best.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.