Mom Is 'So Over Mean Kids' After Her Daughter Faces Judgment For Always Complimenting Her Classmates
People suggested teaching her daughter that not everyone will react kindly, but her kindness should persist.
wavebreakmedia / Shutterstock A mother is venting her frustrations about mean classmates her daughter has encountered after she was simply trying to offer them a compliment.
The defeated woman is unsure how to handle the situation or explain to her daughter why some people may react harshly to her kindness.
The mother admitted that she is ‘so over mean kids’ after her daughter was judged for complementing her classmates.
Sharing her daughter’s story to the subreddit r/Parenting, the mother revealed that the 8-year-old little girl tends to “give compliments freely” to whomever she interacts with.
“A boy gets a new haircut, she’ll tell them they look handsome. A girl is wearing a cute headband, she looks cute,” the mom explained.
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The other day, the little girl complimented a classmate’s headband, telling her that she had “the cutest headband.”
Instead of smiling at the girl and thanking her, the classmate asked her if she was gay since she had called her “cute.”
By the tone of her voice, the woman’s daughter did not believe that her classmate was genuinely curious but rather made a petty remark and insulted her.
The mother confessed that the classmate’s comment to her daughter “upset her on so many levels.”
“Why is this classmate asking that as if being gay was bad? Why do I need to explain to my daughter that being kind and giving people compliments is a good thing?” she wondered.
“As of now, she isn’t gay, so how do you even (in 8-year-old language) explain how to respond to that comment?”
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The woman added that she could not talk to her daughter’s classmate’s mother about the incident since her daughter had begged her to keep it between them.
Now, the mother is seeking advice on how she should explain to her daughter why people may not react kindly to her despite her kindness toward them.
Many people encouraged the woman to simply be truthful with her daughter and tell her that not everyone will be kind, but it should not stop her from giving compliments and spreading her own kindness.
One Redditor suggested, “It seems like a good opportunity to teach your kid about how some people are just plain impossible and confrontational.”
“We’ve had to teach our 5-year-old the same. She’s very sweet and also loves to give compliments — it’s how she breaks the ice when approaching new kids to try and play with. But sometimes the kids don’t respond kindly,” another parent shared.
“It sucks seeing your kids’ feelings get hurt, but it’s also just the way it is sometimes. One of my least favorite lessons in the parenting handbook, but it is a lesson all the same.”
“I always tell the kiddo that not all kids have good role models and some parents are bad parents. Sometimes you just have to have extra patience,” another user wrote.
Others urged the mother to tell her daughter not to offer that particular classmate any more compliments for the time being, with others speculating that the classmate may not have been taught how to respond to the compliment.
The mom needs to reinforce how special her daughter's gift of kindness is.
While children should not be expected to be nice all the time, especially if they are feeling uncomfortable and vulnerable, they should be taught that it is wrong to ridicule others.
Parents should work to instill a sense of empathy in their children toward their peers, given that they only see them for a short period of time in the classroom or on the playground.
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While the mother’s frustrations and hurt on her daughter’s behalf are valid, the reality is that not everyone her daughter stumbles across will demonstrate the same kindness that she does.
They could have never been taught how to respond to compliments, how to reciprocate compassion, or simply may just be having a bad day.
However, one unkind comment or person should never stop you from continuing to give out compliments to those you feel deserve them.
If you like someone’s coat, tell them! If you like someone’s hairdo, ask them how they do it!
Most of the time, people will respond with a smile and a “thank you!”
Positivity can have a ripple effect, uplifting both the giver and the receiver, and contributing to an even more supporting environment.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.