39% Of Men Admit To Doing This WTF Activity At Work

Hard at work or hardly working? The answer may be both.

By Ravishly — Last updated on Feb 16, 2023

Photo: G-Stock Studio / Shutterstock

By Nico Lang

While workplace etiquette might discourage squeezing one out during your lunch break—a 2016 survey found that a large number of male readers — 39% — reported masturbating at the office.

An earlier poll from Glamour in 2012 found that 31% of workers regularly adjourned to the restroom for a little Onanistic release.

Some men admit to doing this WTF activity at work:

Although it might seem taboo, there’s evidence that masturbation is actually good for workers—and their employers.

Critics suggest that engaging in self-gratification decreases productivity. But, the exact opposite is true.

Not only have regular breaks been shown to create a more healthy workflow, but masturbation has particular physiological benefits that boost output and creativity — whether that’s at the office —in the privacy of the single-occupancy bathroom, please — or telecommuting from home.

This, of course, flies in the face of conventional wisdom about the relationship between bashing the bishop and efficiency — an idea long promoted by pop culture.

In “Malcolm Babysits”—a classic first-season episode of Malcolm in the Middle — Hal (Bryan Cranston) and Lois (Jane Kaczmarek) can’t have sex for a week due to the fact that Lois is on antibiotics.

Powered by their pent-up desires, the two whip their house—which is currently being fumigated — into shape and fix it up with repressed gusto.

Stephen Chbosky's shy protagonist, Charlie, even touches on this myth in the beloved young adult novel The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

In one passage, Charlie reflects: “I thought that in those movies and television shows when they talk about having a coffee break that they should have a masturbation break. But, then again, I think this would decrease productivity.”

In the Internet age, that myth has gone viral — with entire online communities built upon the nebulous idea that masturbation is nothing but an unhealthy distraction

Reddit’s anti-masturbation community — r/NoFap, which boasts over 160,000 followers — instead advocates total abstention from getting yourself off — a practice they call, “rebooting.” One poster claims that “fapping is the enemy of progress,” as well as “confidence, productivity, happiness, charm, energy, contents [sic], pride, [and] drive.”

In a 30-Day Challenge, successful life-hacking guru Tim Ferris claimed that by quitting masturbation for a month you’ll increase “cognitive endurance” and “get 50-100% more done.” Ferris’ program was called NOBNOM, which stands for “No Booze, No Masturbating.”

Telling people that they'll be productive superhumans if they channel their sexual energy into other activities is a great sales pitch if you’re trying to push copies of your self-help paperback. The problem is—however—that it isn’t true.

As New York Magazine’s Jesse Singal wrote after Ferris’ challenge went viral back in 2014, the fact is “there’s simply no hard scientific evidence to back up” the Internet’s anti-fapping crusade.

“There's significant evidence debunking the most common sex and productivity notion—that sex before playing sports inhibits performance,” Singal writes. “Since arguments about masturbation are often couched in similar terms—that it drains away a certain edge or drive leading to apathy—there are plenty of reasons to be skeptical of them.”

This myth dates back to ancient Greece when the Greek sophist writer Philostratus advised Athenian Olympians to forgo physical pleasure if they hoped to achieve athletic excellence.

“Those who come to the gymnasium straight after sex are exposed by a greater number of indicators when they train, for their strength is diminished and they're short of breath and lack daring in their attacks and they fade in color in response to exertion, and they can be detected by signs of that sort,” Philostratus wrote in his 3rd-century treatise on sports, Gymnasticus.

Eighteen centuries later, Philostratus’ creed remains extremely popular with athletes—many teams during the most recent World Cup games made no-sex vows.

But as Slate’s Mason Currey explains, numerous writers—including John Cheever and Honore de Balzac—have advised the opposite.

When you’re at your desk all day, there’s nothing better for you than a little carnal interlude.

In writing Look Homeward, Angel, author Thomas Wolfe found that sexual stimulation—in the form of “fondling his genitals,”—helped to arouse his creative spirit. “[T]he sensuous elements in every domain of life became more immediate, real, and beautiful,” Wolfe wrote to an editor.

Although Gustave Flaubert — best known for writing Madame Bovary — once swore off masturbation, he reneged on the vow during a horrific case of writer’s block while penning 1874’s The Temptation of Saint Anthony. “There are moments when my head bursts with the bloody pains I’m taking over this,” Flaubert later wrote.

“Out of sheer frustration, I jerked off yesterday, feeling the same bleakness that drove me to masturbate at school when I sat in detention."

Masturbation has been shown not only to be good for your creativity but also to increase your natural drive to get things done.

“Masturbation ... is like meditation,” Kit Maloney, founder of the sex toy company O’actually, once told Bustle.

“It allows the space for the monkey brain to quiet and that means you'll be more focused and effective with your to-do list afterward,” Maloney claims that masturbating before a pitch meeting once helped her ace the presentation.

In a recent Vice survey, a number of readers agreed that masturbation helped them focus at work—or at least “calm down and relieve stress.” But, the reason may be both about the particular benefits of lessening distractions and also what taking a moment to “excuse yourself” signifies—getting an actual break.

Currently, the Fair Labor Standards Act has no federal regulations in place mandating regular breaks for employees.

And less than half of U.S. states even require employers to give workers mealtime. But those that do allow downtime for employees likely see benefits, according to a 2008 study from the University of Illinois.