Man’s New Girlfriend Demands His Ex-Wife Change Her Last Name So They Can Get Married
She claimed that it was "very weird" to still have her ex's last name.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock It's certainly not uncommon for ex-wives to keep their married last name following a divorce. In fact, depending on the circumstances, it's almost preferred. One man's new girlfriend didn't exactly see it that way, however. In fact, she requested that her boyfriend's ex-wife change her last name sooner rather than later so she could move forward with plans to marry.
The ex-wife claimed that she's never had any issues with her ex's girlfriend, but a recent interaction has left her confused because the girlfriend is insisting that her name, which she changed because of her daughter, is the only reason the two have not moved forward with wedding plans.
The girlfriend demanded that the ex-wife change her last name so they could get married.
"I was married to my ex-husband for 4 years. I didn't change my name when I first got married because neither of us cared much. I only changed it after our daughter was born because I wanted us to share a last name," the ex-wife began in her Reddit post.
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She explained that she and her ex-husband divorced back in 2022, and this has never been an issue. During a recent visit to pick up her daughter from a custody visit, she bumped into his girlfriend, who confronted her about the name change. "She told me that her and my ex want to get married, but the 'only thing standing in the way' is that I haven't changed my last name back, the ex-wife wrote. She went on to add, "She said she thought it was 'very weird' that I kept it in the first place and even offered to pay for my name change and insisted it would be super easy."
The ex-wife thought it was 'odd' that her last name was the only thing standing in the way of the two getting married.
"I don't know why I, as his ex-wife, should have anything to do with their decision to move forward. Aside from the connection to my child, I have a career and I am involved professionally in the community so my name carries some weight beyond my marriage and divorce," she continued.
It's not uncommon for divorced women to keep the last name of their ex-partner. In an informal poll from a private Facebook group for the blog "Life-Saving Divorce," more than 300 women were asked, "What did you do legally with your last name after divorce?" A large majority of the women admitted that they had kept their married name.
Their reasons varied from wanting to still have the last name of their children to having made an entire career and life around their married name and not wanting to give it up to go back to their maiden name. Truthfully, a last name shouldn't hold that much weight, especially if the couple hasn't been together for some time.
"I've never had issues with her and I don't want to be combative since she is around my daughter sometimes and I want to be sure I am justified in my decision before responding. I was also completely caught off guard and in a hurry to pick up my daughter, so I didn’t say any of this to her in the moment — I just told her I'd look into it."
She has a legitimate reason for not wanting to change her married name, and if her ex and his girlfriend truly want to get married, then her decision to keep her last name shouldn't be as much of a barrier as they're making it out to be. She's always going to be around, considering she and her ex have a child together, so it's a bit impossible to completely try and erase her from a connection to her boyfriend. One commenter may have hit the nail on the head, though. They wrote, "If ex is telling gf he can’t marry her bc you haven’t changed your name, he doesn’t want to marry her." Hmm... that's definitely something to think about.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
