3 Little Things To Remember When Life Is Really Hard, According To Leading Experts
Lola Russian | Pexels Life can really stink sometimes. It is an unfortunate part of the game. When life is really hard, it can be easy to fall into overwhelm and emotional overload, which makes us forget why we bother with the bad days. Then we struggle to get back to the good times.
There are days when we are challenged to find motivation to even get out of bed, and getting started on any task can seem insurmountable. Yet, most of us still get ourselves up, get going, and keep on making life work day to day. On those days when life is really hard, we need reminders to help us keep going — take advice from leading experts who have been through it and came out on the other side.
3 little things to remember when life is really hard, according to leading experts:
1. Everything changes
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Intuitive life coach Ronnie Ann Ryan has an essential thought she keeps in mind: Everything changes. Another way to look at this is: Nothing stays the same. When something unpleasant, unfair, or unwanted comes our way, we need to remember that everything changes.
As I start to feel a bit better about things, I also try to take a step back and look at the big picture, says Ryan. To see it from a higher perspective, and stay curious about understanding if there's something I can learn from what has occurred. This doesn't mean I don't struggle, but these thoughts do help me get through whatever has happened in the moment.
2. This too shall pass
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Therapist and best-selling author Dr. Gloria Brame, Ph.D., knows that, as hard as it may feel in the moment, try with all your might to remember, "This too shall pass." The worst part of a depressive dip or panic attack is the belief that it will never go away, and you will be stuck with this emotional nightmare forever. That's not true.
Your brain can be deceptive about how permanent this feels because bad chemistry was triggered. Hard times activate your stress response system. That causes fear, which immediately triggers survival mode. This is an old pattern for humans, evolved at a time when danger was always about.
Fear is not "bad" — it's a warning system that triggers a fight or flight response, the two options for survival. Yet, fear is still emotionally overwhelming, and sometimes it's even worse when there is no real danger because it feels irrational to you. Then the next thing you know, you become afraid you're delusional. Sooner or later, we all have a moment like this. Hang onto the reality that these feelings will, eventually, go away. Depression lifts, anxiety subsides, and panic becomes a vague memory.
3. The only way out is through
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Dr. Brame continues to suggest it is our obligation to ourselves to manage our emotional stress response and find healthy ways to keep going until we get through to the other side ther side of it. Some quick and immediate ways to help self-soothe:
- Take a few deep breaths.
- Sit down and stretch your legs in a seated position.
- Listen to music and focus on it.
- Play songs you always sing along with.
- Do a quick body scan to make sure you are physically OK.
Just keep breathing and putting one foot in front of the other. Your nervous system will naturally calm down enough for you to see clearly again. When you hit one of those days that really sucks, remember it is a temporary emotional response to a temporary situation. In time, as you continue with life, either solutions, reconciliations, or other opportunities will appear. Then those "so bad it hurts days" will only seem like little stumbles along a gracious path.
Will Curtis is YourTango's expert editor. Will has over 14 years of experience as an editor covering relationships, spirituality, and human interest topics.
