11 Lies Narcissists Tell So Often They Can't Even Keep Track
Peopleimages.com | Canva Did you know that you can pretty much always tell when a narcissist is lying? Just look for their lips moving. Understanding a narcissist's all-too-common lies is key to unraveling the complexities of narcissistic relationships and, hopefully, a path to closure once you figure out the type of person they really are.
The lies almost all narcissists tell so often they can't even keep track:
1. 'You’re safe with me; you can be vulnerable'
This lie is the cornerstone of love bombing. Narcissists love to create an intense connection, making you feel like they’re the most trustworthy person in the world. However, they'll likely weaponize any vulnerabilities you share later. This classic manipulation tactic lowers your guard.
2. 'My ex was insane'
Whether they claim their ex was crazy or assert that their ex is their best friend, both scenarios likely involve deception. They might be cheating with the ex, especially in the best-friend scenario. Pay attention to how they talk about past relationships because it reveals a lot about their character.
3. 'You can count on me'
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Narcissists often portray themselves as reliable and trustworthy, especially the covert narcissist. They may help you when it suits them or benefits their superficial image, but they're rarely the type of person you can depend on. Beware of those who insist on convincing you of their trustworthiness with words rather than actions.
4. 'This is all your fault'
Blame-shifting is a common tactic used by narcissists to avoid taking responsibility. If you notice a pattern where nothing, literally nothing, is ever their fault, it’s a clear sign of manipulation. They absolutely rejoice in using blame to control and manipulate your perception of reality.
5. 'I want the same things as you'
Known as future faking, this lie involves promising a perfect future to keep you in love with them. However, the narcissist continually moves the goalposts, creating an illusion that's never fulfilled. Be cautious of over-the-top promises and commitments that are conveniently never delivered on.
6. 'I’ll change'
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The promise of change often comes when a narcissist fears losing something valuable. They may apologize or promise to change (yeah, right), but it’s usually a tactic to regain control. A narcissist’s behavior typically never changes and reverts to its toxic patterns.
7. 'I love you'
Narcissists use those three little words as a common tool of manipulation, giving it and taking away their faux-intimacy strategically to maintain control. Understanding this harsh truth is crucial for breaking a narcissist's trauma bond.
8. 'You can’t trust yourself'
Through gaslighting and subtle manipulation, narcissists kill your confidence and make you doubt your own reality. They may deny they hurt you, even when you iterally told them 'you hurt me,' leading you to question your perceptions. Recognizing this lie is essential for maintaining your sanity.
9. 'It’s not my fault'
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Avoiding accountability is a hallmark of narcissistic behavior. The lie that “It’s not my fault” is literally ingrained in their psyche. Even when they appear to take responsibility, they are so adept at deflecting blame onto others or offering seemingly logical explanations that avoid any sort of accountability whatsoever.
10. 'It will get better'
This lie often comes in the form of future faking, where a narcissist promises a brighter future to keep you obsessed. They derive pure and utter joy from dangling the prospect of improvement, but the reality is that with a narcissist, things seldom get better; they typically worsen.
11. 'I’m the most honest person you’ll ever meet'
Narcissists often claim to be Honest Abes to build trust. However, the truth is quite the opposite: Narcissists are secretive and manipulative, weaving intricate webs of deceit, even if they avoid outright lies. When someone emphasizes how honest they are all the time, it’s a red flag. True honesty shows up in actions, not yapping.
Nehemiah Isamotu is a writer who explores life, human behavior, and personal growth. Their work has been featured in several Medium publications and more.
